A ★★½ review of Love Object (2003)
Tonally inconsister horror movie about an incel who buys a sex doll that looks like a coworker. Nothing bad can happen after that. Tries using broad humor to make the incel less creepy, but when that fails just goes to standard horror tropes. Udo Kier steals his scenes as an overtly evil landlord. He looks and sounds like he's acting in a different movie. It's a good thing. Rip Torn is in this. Strap in. If you like lonely guys that you wouldn't want to meet in real life, this you might like but not love.
A ★★★ review of Popcorn (1991)
Progress- now all you have to worry about when you go to a movie theater is someone shooting it up. I do wish there was more popcorn. The D in Dee Wallace stands for fun!
A ★★★½ review of Ready or Not 2: Here I Come (2026)
Not quite the beat-by-beat redux of the first Ready or Not, but comes pretty close. Samara Weaving and Kathryn Newton play well off each other despite their backstory feeling forced. Elijah Wood looks like he's having a lot of fun force feeding the audience necessary exposition. Radio Silence handles these scenes as well as you can as the info dumps rarely feel droning or tedious. If you're a fan of the first movie (I am) you don't mind seeing things retread as everything is bigger and bloodier. Set pieces are more elaborate, though you intuit the diminishing returns and miss
A ★★½ review of The Descent: Part 2 (2009)
A completely unneccesary sequel to one of the best horror movies of the aughties. Relies on the soap opera plot point of amnesia to a key character because otherwise there wouldn't be any movie. Fails on every level when compared to the Neil Marshall original. The cave sets look laughably cheap and the once terrifying cave creatures look like swap meet cosplay. Almost in apology, the viewer is bathed in gore. Shauna MacDonald's haunting performance in the original is replaced by a 90's one dimensional action heroine and even by horror movie standards there are implausibilities you can't gloss over.
A ★★★ review of The Bride! (2026)
The Bride has a, I'm sorry, THE BRIDE! has a lot going on in every single frame. If you can forgive the occasional stalls in the narrative and pointed momentum-stopping monologuing you'll have a really fun time. After seeing mopey Jessie Buckley in Net of the Ham, it's blast to see her play to the cheap seats. Christian Bale displays surprising depth under all that makeup. It's not a shock that Bale is great, but he's the only performer that's not amped to an 11 in every frame. If you like movie with titles of female archetypes that end with
A ★★★½ review of Scream VI (2023)
We need more movies where Samara Weaving uses her natural accent. "Fuck Dermot Mulroney."- Dylan McDermott.
A ★★½ review of Whistle (2025)
Marginally entertaining 20somethings-playing-teens horror movie with serviceable kills and a better cast than this movie deserves to keep you mildly invested even though everything is pretty derivative. The comparisons to the Final Destination franchise are warranted. Since there are about 500 of those, think of Whistle as a better than average Final Destination movie. The movie asks you to buy a white guy is the best player on the basketball court if you're wondering how much to suspend your disbelief. Since you're other options are a Kevin James movie and the idiotic The Strangers finale, you might just want to
Noel J. Penaflor
🦋•𝑂𝑝𝑎𝑙•🐿 
