Mastodawn

"I am keeping my kids away from him," sharks who watched Michael.

https://letterboxd.com/noeljpenaflor/film/thrash-2026/

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A ★★½ review of Thrash (2026)

Perfectly passable and completely forgettable yet still had a better time at this than that atrocious whitewashed Michael Jackson movie. It's exactly what you'd expect from a Netflix shark and it has Djimon Honsou in a boat which makes you think of Amistad which is also about sharks killing one-dimensional characters you hope die. You won't remember a character's name (there's um, the pregnant lady) or care what they go through but it's less than 80 minutes long so your expectations cannot possibly be that high. "I am keeping my kids away from him," sharks who watched Michael.

Noel J. Penaflor 1d ago

"If you buy two crypts for the price of three you can look under my cape"

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Noel J. Penaflor 1d ago

#Watching ASH

At least it's easy to spell.

https://letterboxd.com/noeljpenaflor/film/ash-2025/

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A ★★½ review of Ash (2025)

At least it's easy to spell. Or it reminds you of Evil Dead and then when you're halfway through this you could stop watching this and see Evil Dead for the nth time. Cosmic horror directed by Flying Lotus which is also my favorite local Chinese Restaurant that got shut down because of there were cats in the pot stickers. Occasional smatterings of gore doesn't quite make up for the fact that you're as lost as most of the characters. When it (eventually) gets revealed what really happened...you wonder why it was all worth it. It wasn't.

Noel J. Penaflor 2d ago

#Watching FROZEN

Even though it's really cold, there's no shrinkage(!) of terror in Frozen.

https://letterboxd.com/noeljpenaflor/film/frozen-2010/

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A ★★★½ review of Frozen (2010)

Adam Green horror movie that had the title before that annoying Disney movie. Granted, a lot of it is ridiculous and you find yourself poking holes in some of the sequences after the movie ends, but while you're watching you are in the moment and trying not to soil yourself. I don't ski or have anything to do with the snow ever since my nephew Mortimer got eaten by an alligator, but Adam Green works wonders visually since most everything as a white background and you can also see his budget limitations. Snow on super white people = blinding. Even

Noel J. Penaflor Apr 19

They are lining up to enter a Pez Dispense.

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Noel J. Penaflor Apr 19

#Watching LEE CRONIN'S THE MUMMY

The movie would be over in 45 minutes if it weren't for seemingly intelligent people turning into White People In A Horror Movie and doing stupid things that eventually add to the body count.

https://letterboxd.com/noeljpenaflor/film/lee-cronins-the-mummy/

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A ★★★ review of Lee Cronin's The Mummy (2026)

More like Split Diopter's The Mummy, amirite? Gallons of gleeful gore tempered by some of the stupidest horror movie characters (the parents) not part of the stillborn Strangers Trilogy. The movie would be over in 45 minutes if it weren't for seemingly intelligent people turning into White People In A Horror Movie and doing stupid things that eventually add to the body count. You get hints that Mummy tried to get you invested in character, but that would make an already slogging 2 hours and 14 minutes even more tedious so you have to cut that shit and throw some

Noel J. Penaflor Apr 17

#Watching SAW 3D

3d and Saw movies. Too much of both of them in the early 20-teens.

https://letterboxd.com/noeljpenaflor/film/saw-3d/

A ★★ review of Saw 3D (2010)

3d and Saw movies. Too much of both of them in the early 20-teens. The final 56 Saw movies were at least unintentionally funny.

Noel J. Penaflor Apr 17

#Watching SLANTED

As an Asian person watching this--- *mike cuts out*

https://letterboxd.com/noeljpenaflor/film/slanted/

A ★★½ review of Slanted (2025)

Surface level observations abound. Heavy handed dialogue and visuals that assault you in case you weren't being clear on what was going on. Nothing subtle about the movie but at least it's entertaining. Every scene involving what it's like to not be white feels like it's underlined twice and there isn't a character that isn't a stereotype, but there are genuinely funny moments ("It's good to be white") that sneak in despite itself. See it with your favorite POC. As an Asian person watching this--- *mike cuts out*