Joy In Leeuwarden (We Are Ready)

Korfball’s coming to town
In your diary write it down
Roll on October, hip hip hooray!
Joy in Leeuwarden for sure

Sixteen teams are taking part
Sixteen camps of hope
Some contain top, top players
Some are just a crock of shit
#HMHB #HalfManHalfBiscuit

“Uffington Wassail”
Because you had a daughter, and chose to call her Rain
Because you didn’t indicate to go down Woodchurch Lane
Your Am-Dram class has been postponed indefinitely
Because the root of Jesse’s just turned up in glorious majesty

Singing Sealed Knot Society, let’s see you try and do this one:
Luton Town – Millwall, nineteen eighty-five

Hand me down my silver trumpet
Sound the revolution bell
There’s a Cher impersonator
Rising up in Israel

#hmhb #HalfManHalfBiscuit

RE: https://mastodon.social/@fesshole/116603329335984563

“Asparagus next left”

When the club-versus-country dispute arose

Small children were trampled in the exodus

We all knew someone at primary school

Who had a very powerful magnet

#hmhb #HalfManHalfBiscuit

I shot a man in Tesco just to watch him die

#hmhb #HalfManHalfBiscuit

"Bridge Street? Overhead railway Bridge Street? OH MY GOD! HELEN!"

(if you know, you know)

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/videos/c74rdkv80yjo?app-referrer=deep-link

@hmhbLyrics
#HMHB #HalfManHalfBiscuit

Hair Like Brian May Blues

I woke up about eleven with hair like Brian May
I woke up about eleven (oooh) with hair like Brian May
I’m supposed to be the hardest man on the estate

I’m gonna go down to the river, the one that they call the Dee
I’m gonna go down to the river (oooh), that old snake they call the Dee
Lord you gotta let me drown so those ringlets they won’t see

Oh I need this situation about as much as I need
The Armoury Show’s entire back catalogue

#hmhb #HalfManHalfBiscuit

Mathematically Safe

May morning, hanging round a trapdoor
Saw a girl like I’ve never seen before
I wanna make her mathematically safe
Wanna keep her mathematically safe
Take her up where we’re mathematically safe
Gonna wake up mathematically safe

Mid table there’s nothing much on my fork
It’s alright though ‘cos I can go for my walk
Around Cartmel, mathematically safe
Ain’t no alarm bell, we’re mathematically safe
On a lilo, in a sea of alright
I’m a mongrel and I just won a dog fight
#hmhb #HalfManHalfBiscuit