Every time I meet someone who's "unsuccessfully" #poly (can't find anyone to #date, can't find anyone interested in more than hookups and one-night-stands, #relationships always fizzle as soon as the #NRE dies, or only ever winds up in bad/abusive relationships that end messily), it's the same few basic problems.

Toxic #mononormativity.

Toxic #masculinity.

Toxic #heteronormativity.

#Sexism.

People who find #polyamory "easy" are the ones who have already faced these problems and named them. They might not have properly *solved* all those issues yet (goodness knows even I sometimes hide for safety behind some #passing-privilege and let people make #heteromononormative #assumptions about me, and I've been out-and-proud #non-monogamous for decades). But if you're finding #EthicalNonMonogamy difficult, it's probably one (or a combination) of those issues. And if more seasoned poly-folk roll their eyes at you and don't take the time to explain it, it's because we've heard it literally hundreds of times before.

Which doesn't make you bad, or stupid, or even unsuited to being non-monogamous. It just means you're still early in the journey, and can't progress until you do some work.