Spent more time reading about different genders in order to refine my understanding of my gender just a tiny bit. This organization aligns with all the pieces of info I've gathered over the last three years.

My gender goes through motions that both change its intensity (genderflux) and the actual gender I experience at any given moment (genderfluid). This morning I divided it in three main stages, each of which has two or three areas. This organization starts from the bottom and goes to the top. Not that there is up or down but it makes sense to me to think in terms of intensity with zero being at the bottom.

Genderless: When the flux is at its lowest, there's no gender whatsoever, that is agender. Next, a shell of a gender appears but it's (practically) empty, genderblank.

Neutral: At this stage, there is clearly a gender but it's not aligned in any way. The shell is now filled. When the flux is at lower levels, I see there is a gender but it's unpenetrable. It gives no answers, refuses to reveal itself. This is the strangest area that leaves me confused if I try to pinpoint it. I now adopted a new term for it, ambigue. When there's more energy, I can decipher the gender but it's devoid of alignment, that is neutrois.

Aligned: I've referred to this area as gender engine before. I've understood more about it lately. If my fluidity linearly follows the main axis that includes the previously mentioned stages, I end up at demiboy. It's clearly a masculine gender but not fully, hence demi. If the gender takes another turn, it ends up at maverique. It's a flaming, flamboyant gender, very clearly aligned in some way but removed from the binary. My favorite part. Then there's feminine energy. It's not a proper gender but more of seasoning apart from very rare moments when it "materializes" as glitch girl only to disappear immediately.

Genderless and neutral stages seem to be where my gender (or lack of thereof) is by itself, not mixing with other areas/experiences/genders. It seems to be heavily related to flux: when the intensity changes, the current gender often changes. Yet, it's not as much a change of a gender as such even though I've used separate gender terms. It's more of a continuum or intensity change from no gender to fully clear neutral gender.

Aligned is the stage where fluidity is in charge. I may be fully in one place but they can also mix with each other. I don't think I've noticed aligned ever mixing with the genders from the other two stages.

#NonBinary #GenderQueer #GenderFluid #GenderFlux

In one of my older toots, I was surprised to see that I said genderflux is more prominent than genderfluid for me. Now I think it's completely the opposite. Yes, they are intertwined. However, even when the main axis does include the level of intensity in it, the more prominent change involves a change of the gender feeling itself.

#NonBinary #GenderQueer #GenderFluid #GenderFlux

As I said here earlier, it's not worth trying to find exact terms for my being. That doesn't mean my autistic brain would stop trying to classify my experiences.

Last year I went through gender anxiety and wondering whether I'm actually a woman. I finally came to a conclusion that's not the case. I'm a non-binary genderfluid person.

Lately, whenever I've felt any gender, it's been more male-aligned. Even thought whether it's of no use to think in terms of being non-binary. However, as I spent 45 years thinking I'm a guy, it's easy to say that's not true. Fuck no, I'm not a guy. I just have sparks of masculinity. Just as I have sparks of femininity.

This all tells me that the fluid part lives its own life. In fact, it feels that the masculine and feminine parts are just energy. I'm starting to think they aren't part of my core gender. And the more I think about that, the more I think the default is actually agender.

#NonBinary #GenderFluid #GenderFlux

#Introduction
Hey, everyone on the Fedi!

I'm Eli (pronounced as Ellie).

I'm an #enby from #Mexico and not new to the Fediverse, but haven't been around recently. I had an account at queer.party and, since that instance is gone now, I'm looking to find new connections, so feel free to follow if we share interests or recommend accounts to follow.

I'm #trans, #nonbinary, #genderflux, #agender, #maverique, #aromantic #demiaro, #polysexual, #toric, #enbian, and #polyamorous.
My pronouns are they/them, ze/hir and it/its, interchangeable.

I love all things #horror (mostly films) and am very fond of #80sHorror, you can check my Letterboxd out to see my reviews. My fave film is Chopping Mall (1986).

I usually don't watch shows now, I hate when they get cancelled and the story gets no proper ending, which happens a lot, but you can also find me at Serializd.

My reading list is predominantly #CrimeFiction (mainly Nordic) but I also like reading horror, #QueerRomance, and anything that piques my curiosity.

I'm some kind of a #geek and enjoy #FOSS, my main OS has been #LinuxMint for 5 years now, and I have an old laptop for distrohopping, currently using #Manjaro and #Debian. My secondary OS is #macOS.

I also happen to be a #language nerd, I speak #Swedish, #Catalan, and #French. Will mainly post in #English and #Spanish, though.

My favourite #music genre is #IndieRock, but I’d listen to anything, primarily more #indie genres.
My favourite band ever is #kent.
As of now, my favourite artists are: #cupcakKe, #DaltonDeschain, #SoporAeternus, #TwinTemple, #LaCasaAzul, #Enjambre, #Ginestà, #ElsAmicsDeLesArts, #PierreLapointe, #Остава…

My favourite animals are #cats, #spiders, #octopuses and #snails, but I don't have any pets.

#ASMR has helped me relax and fall asleep for +10 years now, so I may share some links every now and then.

I love #JigsawPuzzles and every once in a while I do some #puzzling.