not mine
There it is, that little voice I haven’t missed.
She seeps in uninvited, like rain through a cracked window.
You’re not enough. I fold the feelings back up again,
return them to the drawer labeled
things not mineI didn’t want them anyway.
You’ve crossed no boundaries,
but the Savage in me trespasses.
She paces the room
counting what you give away to others,
tally marks on the walls of a prison she built herself.
Why does she always insist on competition where there is none?
Especially when she knows I’ll lose.
I hate her for taking your searching
as evidence.
She wields this as a cruel blade
and I indulge her like a masochist.
I ask the questions to hear the answers
I do not want
and then pick at the wounds to watch the blood.
One certainty settles, and I cannot like it.
I cannot stay here. This is unsafe for me.How do I find the words to tell you
I have found a new boundary.
See! This is why I do not sub. The answer
is simple. Of course. I safeword.
I merely delineate new lines. Consent
is fluid, and I am allowed
to change my mind.
Except that little voice finds fault over and again.
#nsfw #poetry #mine #bdsm #safeword #dominance #submission #boundaries #consent #selfEsteem #insecurity #polyamory #enm