Did my second session of #EMDR today. It’s such a different mode of #therapy compared to #CBT or #TalkTherapy or #GroupTherapy I’ve done in the past.
I’m very hopeful this will help resolve the emotional rollercoaster I’ve been on in adulthood and get back to living the life I want to live.
#ChildhoodTrauma #EmotionalNeglect #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #PanicAttacks
..on that note, here's another very apt #musicToWakeUpTo by #PJharvey called #billy which has deep memories for me around both my kids dads.
only the dickhead is still alive, in prison & heavily alcohol dependend resulting in serious #psychosis after 3 decades of drinking..
https://tidal.com/browse/track/637993?
#press #media #psychology #MENtalHealth #GenerationalTrauma #EmotionalNeglect #recovery #CPTSD #BPD #NPD #DVsurvivor #AbsentFathers #SingleParentFamilies
..on that note, here's another very apt #musicToWakeUpTo by #PJharvey called #billy which has deep memories for me around both my kids dads.
only the dickhead is still alive, in prison & heavily alcohol dependend resulting in serious #psychosis after 3 decades of drinking. i was deluded once & actually believed that i 🖤 him, but i never felt he felt anything for me. craziest thing is that i knew he was an alcoholic but i initiated & pursued him anyway, or rather, because of it. because that's all i knew, i have been conditioned from birth to believe emotional absence = 🖤 so that's what i've been looking for in partners. that was my rolemodel, my example to learn from. now i have to re-program my self & seek discomfort in searching for real love. fucking terrifying, even just typing the L-word 😆
https://tidal.com/browse/track/637993?
#press #media #psychology #MENtalHealth #GenerationalTrauma #EmotionalNeglect #recovery #CPTSD #BPD #NPD #DVsurvivor #AbsentFathers #SingleParentFamilies
#music before bedtime tonight is my 'cool' playlist, starting with this excellent advice around how to deal with life's overwhelming problems by my wise siblings the #WhiteStripes #LittleAcorn.
#GifsArtidote: courtesy of my youngest' spermdonor, can't call him a so-called father, let alone a fuckin' dad. as he's in prison right now, for refusing to admit defeat to alcohol & connected aggression to others (among which his own child), i would like to remind him of his own advice he seemingly desperately needs right now
#press #news #media #GenerationalTrauma #MENtalHealth #EmotionalNeglect #responsibility #accountability #DVsurvivor #NPD #BPD
#music before bedtime tonight is my 'cool' playlist, starting with this excellent advice around how to deal with life's overwhelming problems by my wise siblings the #WhiteStripes #LittleAcorn..
#press #news #media #GenerationalTrauma #MENtalHealth #EmotionalNeglect #responsibility #accountability #DVsurvivor #NPD #BPD
#music before bedtime: #theWhiteStripes with #BlueOrchid
#GifsArtiidote: so many memories are triggered by this song & others by the w.s.
i am grateful for meeting my ex who introduced me decades ago, not to mention to my amazing son.
i hope he finds the strength to overcome his problems, & finally be a father to our child. he's not waiting, neither am i.
#press #media #recovery #BPD #DysthymicDisorder #AbsentFathers #EmotionalNeglect #DomesticAbuseSurvivors
#music before bedtime: #theWhiteStripes with #BlueOrchid
#GifsArtiidote: so many memories are triggered by this song & others by the w.s.
i am grateful for meeting my ex who introduced me decades ago, not to mention to my amazing son.
i hope he finds the strength to overcome his problems, & finally be a father to our child. he's not waiting, neither am i.
#press #media #recovery #BPD #DysthymicDisorder #AbsentFathers #EmotionalNeglect #DomesticAbuseSurvivors
#GifsArtidote:
PERSONAL NEWS ALERT:
from last fri 19 september until fri 26th of september i am on a #NewsStrike as prescribed by my witch #PandoraDarkmoon to aid my #recovery of #burnout as a result of a lifetime of #EmotionalNeglect - by #TheStateWeAreIn, #TheSystemWeAreIn, #TheFamilyIamIn, #MySelf, #MyChoices, #MyJourneyOfLearning&development..
#GifsArtidote:
PERSONAL NEWS ALERT:
from last fri 19 september until fri 26th of september i am on a #NewsStrike as prescribed by my witch #PandoraDarkmoon to aid my recovery of #burnout as a result of a lifetime of #EmotionalNeglect - by #TheStateWeAreIn, #TheSystemWeAreIn, #TheFamilyIamIn, #MySelf, #MyChoices, #MyJourneyOfLearning&development.
it doesn't mean i don't share any news in that time, but it will only be occasional & i won't create crossposts with commentary & analysis, unless it's urgent, in need of a call to action for a community's sake regarding safety &/or threat to life etc.
i will continue posting about positive news/info/knowledge & personal (learning) experiences, developments & ideas.
HEALTH UPDATE:
after months of exhaustion without doing much, i broke my toe a few weeks ago, as a result of falling suddenly unconscious without clear reason. i took it as a physical signal that i needed to listen to my body & stop any activity until further notice.
over the last few weeks i have since:
☆ taken rest when needed
☆ committed to a #BedtimeRoutine as i developed #insomnia
☆ started practising #meditation
☆ limiting #YT & socials usage
☆ aiming to go outside every day ☆ practise to be aware of my senses
☆ practise to live in the moment as much as i can
☆ smoke less baccy & limit smoking my prescribed #MedicalCannabis to 2 joints daily before/during my bedtime routine
☆ be consciously kind to myself
☆ taken time to make any decision, & regarding important ones got an outside opinion from a trusted & wise friend #impulsiveBPD
☆ i aim to #SeekDiscomfort whenever i feel anxious or insecure & then do it anyway
☆ enjoy anything giving me #PositiveEnergy as intense as i can
☆ steer my self away from negative energy/thoughts
☆ #BeMySelf to #BeReal & as open as i can
☆ learn to use #NaturalRemedies from global ancient indigenous wisdom
☆ #educate myself on my own personal, cultural, spiritual, historical & ideological identity.
this is what i can think of so far, i'll try to add & update this list as i progress.
to aid my recovery i am transforming my flat to truly reflect my self, encourage my development & reach my true potential. i do this to my own ability at the time, in small steps, on my terms, for my self ONLY
Let this be a wake-up call. Not just to put down our phones—but to pick up our children’s emotions.
#PresenceOverPresents #ParentingReflections #EmotionalNeglect #DigitalDisconnect
Video Credits: #Whatsapp
David Leszcynski (he/him)
Gif's Artidote
poison punk
Deepak Kumar Vasudevan