Spent nearly a day sitting with the results of the election. This'll be the first and only time I speak about it. But I'm mostly feeling what everyone else is. Terrified. Angry. Betrayed. Depressed. What else can you add?
Mostly I'm reminded of the ways my old best friend did me dirty last year. Like, they were saying so subtly transphobic shit to me after comparing dating apps to job interviews cause maintenance workers woke them up one morning. Before that they accused me of eating their fish sticks, which didn't happen cause there are better fish to afford, and made no efforts to look inward and maybe consider someone else who did. It was petty things like this (or something bigger that they wouldn't not communicate with me over) that caused them, their partner, and our other roommate to straight up abandon me once the lease ended and I could have ended up homeless. Almost did twice.
Reminder that I live in KY. Sure it's Bowling Green, a more progressive area in an otherwise red state, but that doesn't keep out all the bigots. And I'm a trans woman. If you consider yourself a part of my community as a trans or nonbinary person, you know damn well leaving a trans woman to deal with potential shit on her own does not bode well. But they had the habit of downplaying a lot of fears our community was having at the potential of a 2024 Republican presidency. Being privileged in one area of my identity (I'm a white bitch) doesn't necessarily protect me from horrible treatment, and I've since talked to other trans women and fem presenting enbies in the area who have put up with public harassment in town as well.
Now that Trump has won, this is absolutely going to happen more, and more people are going to be more vocal about their transphobia. And I'm reminded of my friends dismissal of all the things I've seen my community express fears about and it just leaves me in such an embarrassed state that I ever thought they were a good ally and at one point the only person I'd ever consider offing myself for. Things are about to get ugly for my community and I doubt they give that much a fuck.
The theories my mind keeps bringing up as to why folks voted in Trump. My theories are conditioned to be understanding of voters who are genuinely manipulated and brainwashed into taking that action. A lot of them are based in that dismissive way my friend tended to do to my community. Some aspects weren't wrong. For instance, lots of rural folk feel burned by the democrats to a point where they will never vote for them again, and they're the same people that are prideful enough to feel bitter when pretentious liberals pretend to be smarter than them. You know damn well it is not a good thing when you hurt someone's pride. It's why they bought into the gift by the right that they have what's the best interests for Appalachia. JD Vance being fake as fuck isn't gonna change their vote.
(My documentary recommendation from this post is called Hillbilly, a film about documenting Appalachian experiences, the exploitation of them, and expanding understanding why they voted in Trump in the 2016 election. That film was a particularly revealing one).
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