🍪 🫙PROJECT COOKIE JAR 🫙🍪

🎄👵🏻 Merry Christmas 👵🏻🎄

🩷🐘🩶

One little elephant, one and two
Two little elephants grew and grew

Two little elephants in my heart
Soon as one. Love 💜 till we part

#devops #devopsendgamewithallthecheatcodes #platformEngineering #jenkins #canyourjenkinsdothat

🍪 🫙PROJECT COOKIE JAR 🫙🍪

:)

#devops #devopsendgamewithallthecheatcodes #projectcookiejar

Dude

Dude

Dude

stages:
run:
label: deploy-ec2
runner:
type: remote
args:
# The brain - a fence that returns activities
controller: karaoke-controller
# Initial context passed to controller
context:
song: over-in-the-meadow
channel: karaoke-remote

Just sang a song yo

And it's quick... no ticking the graph with 100k lines of Ruby (+friends) parsing each time

State management is like your problem man

Jenkins is just for activities - so much room for activities !!! 👯‍♂️

#devops #devopsendgamewithallthecheatcodes #projectcookiejar

🍪 🫙PROJECT COOKIE JAR 🫙🍪

So close, just a couple of library minor glitches I think

#devops #devopsendgamewithallthecheatcodes #projectcookiejar

🍪 🫙PROJECT COOKIE JAR 🫙🍪

Is this still work?

Testing complete, I think we're ready to go

#devops #devopsendgamewithallthecheatcodes #projectcookiejar

This is what my day job looks like on the day before Christmas

And yes I know those spikes are ugly
And yes I know how to make them go away
And no I cannot make them go away as much as I would 💜 to

All those top job losses are ghost branches of a Jenkins multi-branch build setup gone horribly incorrect

[Peregrine does /not/ support that]

This team wanted to do their own thing, just feed jars into us for deployment

Peregrine(artifact) -> Infrastructure

We don't care we if produce it in the first place.

Capabilities are capabilities. You are what you produce.

[I just wish they'd stop screwing up my pretty graph]

#devops #devopsendgamewithallthecheatcodes #becauseiputintheworkfirst

🍪 🫙PROJECT COOKIE JAR 🫙🍪

Oh my goodness, was the baby Jesus born on the wrong day or what

Another time then...

🎄🧑🏻‍🎄

#devops #devopsendgamewithallthecheatcodes

🍪 🫙PROJECT COOKIE JAR 🫙🍪

Y'all

Psst

Y'all

Jenkins is a crooner yo

Belts out the tunes

[the heck is this guy on about, cookies and crooners...]

We wired Jenkins up to my knowledge graph

Simple node on the other side, set of kids songs that function as computational patterns (they're isomorphic)

A counter tracks the current verse

A fence (stateless function) emits verses when asked

A transformer converts the JSON lyrics to markdown

A realtime websocket based markdown renderer displays the results

We watch Jenkins participate in something no one ever intended... external control.

Fed data from an external source, performing the requested steps

Updating real time state to a dashboard

Down in the meadow in the 🏖️, in the ☀️
Lived an old mother 🐢 and her little 🐢 one

#devops #devopsendgamewithallthecheatcodes #wanderland

Y'all need to get one of these

See a thing, have a thing
Want a thing, have a thing

[as long as you can remember you asked for it]

#devops #devopsendgamewithallthecheatcodes