The most important emotions you feel are the ones you feel as an immediate response to whatever is happening around you. The further out you get from the original experience, the more the emotions are just a reaction to a memory and that just doesn't have the same healing benefit. Anybody can cry at a sad picture.

Emotions felt as a triggered reaction to something are also beneficial. They are showing you the trigger. Your work then is to heal the trigger so that you can stop reacting badly to it. It's not that we're looking for desensitization, you can still care. What we're looking for is a conscious response to things instead of a bad emotional reaction.

The other way emotions show up is through habit. You healed the trigger. You healed the original wound. The scenario or experience shows up in your life and even though you have no conscious reaction to it all, the mind generates the feelings anyway. That's habit. You can break that the same way you break any habit. Become conscious of it and shift it.

Your work is to determine the purpose of the emotion. Why am I feeling this right now? What horse did it ride in on?

It's either going to be pointing at something that needs to be worked through or it's just going to be your mind distracting you with emotions again.

Once you figure that out you can stop being so distracted and overwhelmed by how you feel. It gives you some sense of control so that you're not always on an emotional roller coaster.

Healing just doesn't have to be that painful. But the trick is you have to understand why the emotion is there so that you can know what to do with it and then understand that you don't have to get sucked into it.

Love to all.

Della

#emotions #overwhelm #healing #spirituality #memories #selfmastery #triggers #habits #benefits #writer #indieauthor #dellawren #patreon

No matter how many times you do the inner work, the pain will keep showing up if you don't fix how you show up in the world.

Your behavior is directly affected by the pain that you've been trying to heal. If you don't go find those coping mechanisms and survival skills in your behavior, in how you talk, in how you act, you will continue to see the pain show up in your experience.

A lot of the reason why healing feels like it never ends is because most people don't consider their behavior in their healing process. They are still living from the pain. They still act like they are in pain, even though they have done the inner work.

Guess what? Your experience is going to keep showing you that pain until you fix the thing you're doing that causes the pain.

What are those things for you? Have you shifted them yet?

Love to all.

Della

#behavior #healing #selfmastery #awareness #consciousness #attitude #copingmechanisms #survivalskills #spirituality #patreon #dellawren

The lag time between a choice you make and actually moving forward with that choice will allow the doubt to creep in there. The faster you can move the better.

If you can manage your thinking and/or act quickly on your choices, you'll remove the doubt and you'll be able to move forward with them.

Why does the doubt creep in there?

Self-protection. The mind fills in the unknown space with something and often that something is the potential for pain because the mind is trying to keep you safe.

When you recognize that it's safe to look in the shadows and that the unknown doesn't have to be scary, you can find ways to move forward with your choices anyway.

You don't have to get stuck in the doubt.

Managing your thinking and acting on your choices quickly are the two simplest ways to stay out of the doubt.

Love to all.

Della

#dellawren #Doubt #choices #indecision #selfmastery #thinkingproblem #thoughts #managethemind

Today is a "catch up" day, posting in all the places I haven't been for a few days.

My Patreon subscribers got a new post today and I've been over on my forum adding a bit about social issues. The first topic is Acceptance vs. Hate.

You can find the links to all the things on my website at dellawren.com.

Okay, I'm going back to book writing now.

Love to all.

Della

#catchup #postings #contentcreator #content #forum #socialissues #acceptance #selfmastery #patreon #patreoncreator #crowdfunding #dellawren

I teach focus and self-awareness. What we pay attention to in life matters. How we see our reality matters. What we do with what happens to us or for us within ourselves matters.

What we have to realize is that all the pain we carry around shifts how we see things, but not in a helpful way. When we make choices based on a perception that's filled with pain, we just get more pain. Pain causes us to make poor choices. What we don't realize very often is that we are making choices from pain. We don't recognize our own pain because we've lived like that for a long time.

Our pain is reflected in our behavior, our habits, and yes even our choices. But we don't really pay attention to that stuff. What happens is that eventually we're trying to heal and we realize that we're not getting anywhere. One of the reasons we're not getting anywhere is because we're still living from the pain. Our attitude and behavior is based on pain even though we've done the healing work and we're no longer living out the painful experience.

Once you see this, you can never un-see it. This is how we heal. We not only allow ourselves to process all the unfelt emotion from the past. We also have to recognize that our behaviors consist of coping mechanisms that we need to break. Once we break the coping mechanisms and bad habits, then we can start to heal the reality around us. We change our behavior and it eventually changes our reality.

This is the process that I have taken to heal myself to be able to do this work. It's been a long road. I've never once said it was easy, but I will say over and over again how worth it it is.

Love to all.

Della Wren

#focus #selfawareness #selfmasterycoach #selfmastery #coach #support #author #dellawren #indieauthor #healing #spirituality #consciousness #awareness #clarity

How about a Saturday blog? Let's talk about the concept of rejection as protection. Go have a read!

https://dellawrenbooks.com/blog/rejection-as-protection

#blog #relationship #goals #dreams #healing #spirituality #dellawren #books #author #writer #indieauthor #pain #journey #path #perception #problems #solutions