Bevande
Was ist dein Lieblingsgetränk? Heute geht es sozusagen um die Flüssigkeitszufuhr - und da gibt es eigentlich nicht viel mehr zu sagen, als Wasser. Photo by Mabel Amber on Pexels.com Warum eigentlich? Zielt nicht die Frage eher darauf, dass auch Getränke Genussmittel sein können ? Und gibt es solche nicht gerade reichlich? Immerhin habe ich während meines Studiums mein Geld auch damit verdient, dass ich in einem Lebensmittelmarkt unter anderem die Getränkeabteilung betreut habe und […]
My First Tagging On-Call Shift As A Floating Medical Officer
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My first tagging oncall shift was on a Sunday with a fellow medical officer I knew when I was a House Officer in General Surgery. Back then, he was having his attachment in General Surgery.
Just like a House Officer, we had to undergo a period of “tagging“.
In the Department of Plastics and Reconstructive Surgery at Sarawak General Hospital, I had to undergo a tagging period of one month, every other day (EOD). This is because, I am a newborn medical officer with no previous experience in General Surgery (as a Medical Officer).
This is an advantage as I would be able to learn as much as I could within a span of 1 month. However, it was also a disadvantage as I’m afraid, I would be burnt out mentally and physically considering the on-calls were on every other day (EOD).
“I can do it. If others could, I could too.” , I repeated this mantra to myself but the learning curve is going to be an extremely steep one.
During my first tagging oncall, thankfully, it was with a fellow senior colleague who I was rather comfortable with.
We started with our morning ward rounds followed by passover and peri-rounds. After we were done, we went back to the ward to settle our pending job-lists followed by lunch.
As a tagging on-call medical officer, the first call would be to me for referrals. After which, I would discuss with my senior and proceed to see the referred patient together. After reviewing our newly electively admitted patients, pre-op rounds with surgeon and demarcating the op site and pre-op meeting, we went back home in the evening and returned at night together for our night reviews which we updated in the Department’s WhatsApp Group on the progress of certain patients. Incidentally, a patient whom we were awaiting for op was called into the operating theatre and the operation ended at 2am. Finally, we returned home for the night.
I was nervous of course as I usually get anxious easily. However, I took my shower and headed to bed.
My phone was kept beside me in case I were to receive calls or referrals. At 6am, I returned to the ward and started our morning reviews as well as prepared for our morning rounds.
Since, it was a Monday, it was morning ward rounds, handover and peri rounds as usual. However, since I was still tagging, I was expected to stay till 5pm or to join the ongoing surgeries.
Thus, my first postcall was spent in the operating theatre assisting till 6pm. However, despite the ongoing operation, I excused myself to return home and rest.
The following day will be another one, thankfully, not oncall but within office hours.
Thankfully, it was a good call with a fellow senior that I was comfortable with in terms of approaching in regards to my doubts which was undoubtedly, many.
I can only hope that I would be able to survive this whole month of tagging.
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My First Day Of Locum And As A Medical Officer
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A locum or locum tenens, is a person who temporarily fulfils the duties of another; the term is especially used for physicians or clergy.
– Wikipedia.
The first time I ever tasted or ventured into locum or a so-called “part-time doctor” was on the 3rd of August 2025.
At that time, I was back in my hometown and on a 3-weeks-break post housemanship / internship at a small private clinic, yet to officially begin as a Medical Officer.
While I was in medical school, I would occasionally hear this term “locum” from my fellow seniors or batch mates, lecturers, parents or even friends of my parents. However, in order to locum, one would need to be fully registered with the Malaysian Medical Council (MMC) and possess a valid Annual Practicing Certificate (APC). In short, I had to graduate medical school, finish my internship or housemanship first, then only am I able to dive into this.
Thus, upon acquiring my full MMC and APC licence, I was looking forward to locum. Looking forward to it as well as nervous to dive into this. Thankfully, I had just completed my final rotation in the Emergency and Trauma Department.
In the Emergency and Trauma Department, there are various zones in which the patients would be triaged into in terms of presenting complaints, severity and their vital signs. The least critical in severity would be triaged into Green zone. The Green zone is similar to a clinic setting, thus, it gave me some idea on the type of cases I would be expecting.
My first locum was just 3 hours long, from 7pm till 10pm. I figured that since I am just starting at that time, it would be better to start with minimal hours in order to get used to it and also.. if I would enjoy it.
The clinic was quaint and small but equipped with basic necessities and a scan machine. The only thing that it did not have, was an x-ray facility. The moment I sat down, the patients kept coming back-to-back. As soon as I was done with one, another came.
For a first-timer, I felt it was equivalent to the Green Zone in General Hospital whereby the cases were always there but the patient load was manageable.
However, I was extremely scared.
Mainly afraid that I might accidentally jeopardise the patient’s safety in terms of mismanagement. Thankfully, by 9:30 pm, the clinic assistant stopped accepting new patients and prepared to close the clinic.
For a first experience, it was a good one despite it being rather terrifying for me.
But, we all have to start somewhere and build our confidence, don’t we?
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I rise through the grace of Yeshua
Who are the biggest influences in your life?
As the first rays of sunlight pierce through the shadows, I rise with the grace of God. It is a miraculous feeling, knowing that the Creator of the universe knows me by name — that He sees not just my exterior, but the very essence of my spirit, my heart, my fears, and my purpose. How incredible it is to be known and chosen in a world that often feels chaotic and disconnected!
Reflecting on my journey, I am reminded of the moments when God’s grace pulled me from the depths of despair. I once lived in the shadows, unaware of their cold embrace, wandering through life with a heart burdened by regret and anger. The darkness I was enveloped in was so consuming that I couldn’t differentiate between success and emptiness. It was only through the lens of self-discovery that I began to unveil the truth — the delicate balance between light and dark.
The Bible teaches us that “I know my children,” and during my darkest hours, I felt this profound truth emerge. I was a victim of lost dreams and stolen destinies, a soul burdened by anger and regrets I did not choose to carry. I cried out in desperation, yearning for a sense of connection, for a spark of divine light to guide me through my confusion. My nights were often filled with tears, a symphony of longing echoing in the vast emptiness of my heart.
But just when I felt utterly broken, when I thought my spirit could bear no more, His mercy found me. It was as if a gentle breeze had whispered, “You are not alone.” In those moments, when I felt most unworthy, grace enveloped me, igniting a flicker of hope in the ashes of despair. The anger began to dissipate. Hatred, once a fierce companion, melted away like snow under the warm embrace of the sun. I realized that forgiveness was not merely an act, but a balm for my weary soul.
As I embarked on this journey of healing and redemption, I began to see the world through new eyes. Suddenly, each leaf on a tree, each laugh of a child, each word of kindness became reminders of God’s goodness. It was as if the universe had shifted, illuminating the path ahead and slowly revealing His purpose for my life.
I patiently awaited Yeshua to emerge in my journey, trusting that He would unveil His plan for me in His perfect timing. I sensed His presence guiding me, nudging me gently—reminding me of my worth, my calling, and the extraordinary power of love. With every step I took towards Him, darkness receded, giving way to a radiant light that filled the void in my heart.
I now understand that my past does not define me; rather, it is a tapestry woven with threads of trials, triumphs, and transformation. I carry those experiences not as scars of shame, but as testaments to the power of redemption and grace. I now, see myself as a warrior of hope, committed to breaking the cycle of despair for my children. I refuse to let them wander through the darkness I once knew; I want them to walk in the light, inspired by faith, resilience, and love.
To anyone reading this, who may feel lost or broken, I urge you to pause and breathe. Know that your pain does not make you unworthy; it can be the very catalyst for your breakthrough. Whenever you feel consumed by darkness, remember that grace awaits, just as it awaited me. Find comfort in knowing that His love will rescue you, fashioning a narrative of strength and beauty from the ashes of your struggles.
Your journey may feel like a movie—filled with drama, sorrow, and the unexpected—but trust that the plot will unfold in ways that are beyond your imagination. Hold on to hope, seek the light, and when Yeshua reveals Himself, you will find a love so profound that it will light the path toward your true purpose.
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The art of giving a F**k
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It’s that time of year again when we start reflecting on everything that’s happened. January feels like it was just yesterday, and this year has truly been a rollercoaster. I recently shared some thoughts with someone who feels the same way, and we agreed that every year has its ups and downs. But what really matters is that we made it through—both of us did.
The world can feel so dark, and we often ignore what truly matters while we keep chasing after things that don’t fulfill us. We find ourselves in relationships that come with strings attached, expecting our partners to carry the weight of our needs. We pursue careers with the mindset that we want to be like those who have already made it. We’re constantly seeking validation, setting the bar impossibly high. The economy is a mess, with inflation swinging back and forth.
The news is filled with stories of genocide, war, and people hurting each other. And then there’s Gen Z, always coming up with the next big trend. It’s all chaotic, and no matter how much we try to ignore it, we’re all affected in one way or another. It feels like a lose-lose situation, and it’s hard to look forward to the coming year. Yet, there are still some perks waiting to be shared. What I really need is to get on my knees and surrender to the Lord, asking for His intervention.
I could take a vacation and post a smile for the ‘gram, but if my soul isn’t at peace, what’s the point? My faith has been my anchor this year; I’ve fought battles that made me question, “What on earth is this generational curse?” A wise person once said, “If it doesn’t happen to you, who will it happen to?” The glitz and glam aren’t always what they seem.
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Day 1 Of My Final Posting – Day 647 Of Housemanship
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My first day of my final posting, The Emergency & Trauma Department, commenced on the 11th of April 2025.
Day 647, finally. Finally! I’ve pulled through and entered the last pit stop of my journey as a House Officer.
In every posting, I have always looked forward to this posting. Prior to joining, I’ve always had mixed feelings and initially wanted to join Anaesthesiology. However, a few weeks prior to entering, the other postings such as Psychiatry, Klinik Kesihatan and Anaesthesiology were removed from our options and everyone had to rotate in the Emergency and Trauma Department.
This is good. This meant more manpower.
However, just as the previous postings, prior to joining any new department, I’ve always had this fear and mixed feelings because it is after a new environment.
My fear was stumbling too badly on my first day. Thus, of course, I did my research and questioned the people I knew who were already in the posting.
My First Day began on a Friday in the “Yellow Respi Zone“.
The Yellow Respi Zone consists of patients who are unable to saturate well under room air, usually less than 90%. Having just completed the Medical Posting, the patients allocated there are primarily Medical patients or in particular, having respiratory issues such as patients developing acute pulmonary oedema or fluid overload secondary to non-compliance to their fluid restriction.
Thankfully, I have just completed Medical. Thus, I am able to apply my knowledge learnt which was still fresh at that time.
I arrived a little before 7am since the tagging shift is from 7am till 10pm, introduced myself to the medical officers and talked to a fellow friend who arrived and would be working in the same zone as well. I went through the triages and casenotes of the patients to see if there were any active cases or cases that were due tracing of bloods or referrals.
The day started off rather quietly and it was manageable. I followed the morning handover rounds at 7:45am and after that attended to any new patients or refer if needed.
Basically, when a patient comes in, especially to this zone where the patients’ chief complaint is “shortness of breath“, the first person who attends would usually auscultate or “listen” to the lungs and check the vital sigs prior to taking blood or doing a “full clerking” such as obtaining their past medical history or history of presenting illness.
The next person that steps in usually helps with the bloods and fills the forms.
Everyone worked together as a team and somehow indirectly we were communicating with one another without actually voicing it out. It seemed almost like a dance, or a workout.
Afternoon came and afternoon handovers started at 2:45pm. I met a lovely medical officer who is a junior herself but one who was extremely upbeat and more than happy to guide me.
I learnt a lot during my first day with her. She even encouraged me to consider joining this department during my floating period.
The evenings became extremely busy to which I did not really realise. Maybe because it was my first day or maybe because I have just completed my Medical Posting (and it was much busier over there), or perhaps because I simply enjoyed working with my superior or team on that day.
The day ended at 10pm and I walked back home. Thankfully, I lived within walking distance thus I saved time and did not have to worry regarding transportation or parking issues.
My first day in my last posting or rotation started off well which is something I’m more than thankful for.
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Surviving 10 Days Of Tagging | Emergency & Trauma Department
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My tagging days in my sixth and final rotation, Emergency and Trauma Department, lasted for a total of 10 days which was from the 11th of April till the 23rd of April 2025. This is excluding our one “off day” for the week.
Did I manage to last throughout the tagging days?
Not quite.
I did take a sick leave during my second week of tagging. The reason was that I was just extremely tired.
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.comThe tagging hours in the Emergency and Trauma Department is from 7 am till 10pm, just in other postings.
The good thing about this department is that we do not need to do morning reviews. Thus, coming way early prior to our shift is unheard of. We merely come and leave on time.
However, considering that it is the Emergency Department, things are unpredictable whereby things could be quiet one moment and hectic the next.
Hence, on days which burn, it can be extremely tiring. But, completing these tagging days are a must and so on slow days where the hours seem to pass by really slowly, I make it a point to have an “hourly toilet break“. On busy days, it may be the only time that I am given a chance to sit and breathe.
On top of that, I made sure I took my lunch and dinner break. Not because I was hungry as I was used to having my meal for the day after work. It was merely my way of spending my time during my tagging days.
At 10pm, the shift is over and I leave, even if the floor is busy because the following day my shift begins at 7am again.
Finally after 10 days of “tagging“, I have finally off-tagged and shifted to “shift hours“.
Photo by Andrey Grushnikov on Pexels.comThere are no assessments in order to off-tag. as there were in other postings, which is a good thing. However, tagging in this posting felt long and seem to went on forever for me. Perhaps, this was because I was mainly tagging alone as I entered a month later than my fellow peers.
Nonetheless, I was glad to be done with this schedule and shift back to a regular 12-hours shift.
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Overcoming My Fear To Refer A Case I DO NOT KNOW | Housemanship Diaries
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What fears have you overcome and how?
At the moment of writing this article, I am in my sixth and final rotation which is in the Department of Emergency Medicine, pushing into my third month.
One might think that as we become more senior in our current job, it gets easier or the fear fades.
Well, the anxiety certainly reduces but that does not mean that it disappears.
For me, the fear is still there as to who I would be working with or who I would be referring to and most of all, referring a case that I not know.
I’m sure we’ve all been there before. Especially upon arrival to work and to be absolutely clueless about the patient and their case and progress and to not have anyone handover the case to you.
Not that we won’t take the time to understand. It is just that, we will or at least I would take the time to digest the initial presentation, clinical examination and findings followed by the initial management of the patient and other teams as well as the current progress.
Once I have finally understood the issue of the patient from A to Z, then I can confidently refer the patient for a simple thing.
That’ll usually take me about 5-10 minutes, especially if there is just one too many writing. To others that may seem like an eternity.
The thing is they will somewhat give me a template of what to say in regards to the patient but I am still absolutely clueless and wishes to kindly absorb the pages and information about the patient before I walk into the battlefield.
This is because, one too many times, I will be asked about things totally irrelevant to the case of the patient which will take me some time and if I’m not so lucky, ended up being shouted at. I mean, that’s the worst that can happen right? Certainly reminds me of my early days of housemanship.
Maybe it’s a form of childhood trauma or maybe not, but I need to at least have a reason to defend myself and the patient.
It’s like a debate or a business deal which I find that I may need to fib or exaggerate myself in order to get a test approved or to refer, all for the sake of the patient or sometimes the superiors.
It’s alright but at times it can be rather annoying especially when they want it done in a minutes time.
The next that I have to actually open my mouth and communicate. Being an introvert, I can easily talk to people but I dislike being in groups, small talks or actually talking at times.
I find it exhausting and thus upon the end of my shift, I just need time to recuperate.
However, back to the question of this article, my fear, to refer to other departments, especially, if it is a case I do not know and to a tiger of a person who loves finding any fault just to reject the case is still present to this day and what have I done to overcome it? Nothing, really, just extreme patience.
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Reflection – After Almost 2 Years Of Practicing As A Junior Doctor
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“Would you want to return back to medical school?”
No.
I enjoyed my 5 years of medical school very much and I appreciate the memories formed throughout those years.
However, after working as a junior doctor for 2 years, I would not consider turning back time, just to go through medical school all over again. I enjoyed studying and it was equally tough and fun. Besides that, I had the best study group, “The Impostors”.
Going through the COVID-19 Pandemic season of social distancing and online classes made the journey easier. I remembered staying back in Kuala Lumpur and waking up in the morning prior to starting class just to set up my laptop and my connecting screen, sending the link earlier to the group, sharing the slides if needed and while the classes are on-going, I would go about cooking, cleaning or folding clothes.
My coffee and tea would be on standby and everything was prim and proper. Besides that, breakfast, lunch and dinner would always be prepped by me, for me or my friend who lives upstairs. After that, I would proceed to study during the wee hours.
I think the time I managed to complete reading various textbooks were during the COVID pandemic.
Then, I graduated and started my housemanship. It was extremely tough at first and it’s still difficult now at times but I’ve grown to accept the fact that there will be difficult days as well as good days.
Three months later after starting my housemanship journey, my first pay was banked in and subsequently, every month I received my monthly pay.
Eventually as I become more and more senior, things became more and more familiar and easier and some things or procedures became a reflex, even the management plans.
Thus, considering, the things that I’m doing now which I think is much easier as compared to my medical school days, would I want to turn back time?
Nope. Medical school is important and equally tough. On top of that, I’m not getting paid. Instead, my parents had to pay for my medical school fees.
So, no. I cherished those days as I said. But I certainly do not want to relieve them again.
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Preparing For My Exit From The Medical Posting As A House Officer | Housemanship Diaries
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While I was in Medical School, my favourite rotation was the Medical Posting and I’ve always imagined myself being a Medical Officer in Medical.
Thus, upon entering my Housemanship Journey, I did not choose to rotate in Medical as my first posting. Many people said that the Medical Posting is the most difficult posting of all the postings due to the patient load as well as the workload.
Thus, I began in Orthopaedics and placed Medical as my Fifth Posting. Mainly, because I wanted to “enjoy” it. Enjoy it in the sense that I already knew the basics and knew how to function as a House Officer and would be able to learn how to manage the patients.
However, albeit being a senior poster, some old habits retain. In the Medical posting, we were required to hand in our logbooks 2 weeks prior our End of Posting Date.
However, I approached my mentor 5 weeks prior my exit. Unfortunately, my assigned mentor at that time was not available and asked me to approach my Specialist-in-charge of House Officers at that time to request for a new Mentor.
I approached the Specialist-in-charge and was assigned a new mentor which happened to be someone I worked with multiple times while I was in Medical 3.
The following week was a rather tensed week for me as I tried my best to cram as much as I could.
I finally had my assessment with my first mentor who is a Medical Officer that Sunday. Thankfully, I passed.
2 days later, I went for my assessment with my second mentor, my reassigned specialist, who passed me as well.
The issue next was the completion of my 12 CMEs. CME stands for Continuous Medical Education which occurs once a week on Tuesdays. In other postings, only 5 CMEs were required in order to pass. Sadly, it is not the same for the Medical Posting.
Unfortunately, CMEs done online were not acceptable even if there are certificate of attendance.
Luckily, I had attended a Hospital CME some time ago and I was only looking for ONE more CME prior to my exit of this posting.
Thus, I used that to my advantage and finally, I was able to hand in my logbook and officially exit the posting.
Sadly, a few days prior to my exit, something occurred that led to the demise of a patient. But, that is a story for another article. Thankfully, that did not affect my exit from this posting and I exited, on time.
If you are due to finish the Medical Posting or any posting in general, take it as a lesson from me and approach your assessors much earlier.
Otherwise, all the very best!
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The Theoretical Doctor
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