I run a pub. A regular has an arrangement where if he and his GF order a vegan pasty each, then he gets one with meat, so that she continues to think he's gone vegan for her. He's been behaving like a prat lately though so I might tell her myself.

I run a pub. A regular has an arrangement where if he and his GF order a vegan pasty each, then he gets one with meat, so that she continues to think he's gone vegan for her. He's been behaving like a prat lately though so I might tell her myself.

#confession

Confess now and often. Use this link: https://b3ta.com/addfess

Confess now and often. Use this link: b3ta.com/addfess

#confession

I like the dense German style pumpernickel that Aldi sells seasonally in autumn. I don't like to share it with my wife, so my fess is that I bought 48 kg of it and have stashed it in my toolshed. When my wife thinks I am tinkering, I am also toasting and eating into my stash.

I like the dense German style pumpernickel that Aldi sells seasonally in autumn. I don't like to share it with my wife, so my fess is that I bought 48 kg of it and have stashed it in my toolshed. When my wife thinks I am tinkering, I am also toasting and eating into my stash.

#confession

I'm trying to get to a position where I only wear clothing that feels like pyjamas but doesn't look like pyjamas. Secret pyjamas if you will. Fabrics with a little give and elastic waists. It's amazing how much happier I am if I'm just comfy.

I'm trying to get to a position where I only wear clothing that feels like pyjamas but doesn't look like pyjamas. Secret pyjamas if you will. Fabrics with a little give and elastic waists. It's amazing how much happier I am if I'm just comfy.

#confession

Stole a stranger's scarf from a club cloakroom years ago because it smelled incredible. Wore it for years. Now, every time I see that same pattern on the street, a wave of guilt hits me.

Stole a stranger's scarf from a club cloakroom years ago because it smelled incredible. Wore it for years. Now, every time I see that same pattern on the street, a wave of guilt hits me.

#confession

Come to Fesshole Live in 2026! Tickets on sale for Manchester, Hull, Glasgow, Luton & Cambridge. Sweden Tour visits Malmö, Göteborg and Stockholm, and Anon Opin hits Glasgow. Best of Fesshole, audience confessions, secret history & more: https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole

Come to Fesshole Live in 2026! Tickets on sale for Manchester, Hull, Glasgow, Luton & Cambridge. Sweden Tour visits Malmö, Göteborg and Stockholm, and Anon Opin hits Glasgow. Best of Fesshole, audience confessions, secret history & more: sites.google.com/view/fessho…

#confession

I haven't done any washing up since November last year. I've just been using paper plates and disposable cutlery.

I haven't done any washing up since November last year. I've just been using paper plates and disposable cutlery.

#confession

Whenever my partner and I stay at an Airbnb, we always seem to overbuy beer & wine, so have leftovers on the final day. I leave these neatly arranged by the bins on the street outside. I like to think of myself as a booze fairy and it will make the day for someone less fortunate.

Whenever my partner and I stay at an Airbnb, we always seem to overbuy beer & wine, so have leftovers on the final day. I leave these neatly arranged by the bins on the street outside. I like to think of myself as a booze fairy and it will make the day for someone less fortunate.

#confession

Saw a cucumber on the ground in Tesco's car park. Went to run it over for a laugh. Didn't realise it had fallen out of a women's bag and she was walking over to pick it up. Sorry cucumber woman

Saw a cucumber on the ground in Tesco's car park. Went to run it over for a laugh. Didn't realise it had fallen out of a women's bag and she was walking over to pick it up. Sorry cucumber woman

#confession

My car is very similar to one used by unmarked police. It's a BMW estate with tinted rear windows. Sometimes I like to drive at 65mph and watch cars slam their brakes on as they approach, while I pretend to be undercover motorway patrol.

My car is very similar to one used by unmarked police. It's a BMW estate with tinted rear windows. Sometimes I like to drive at 65mph and watch cars slam their brakes on as they approach, while I pretend to be undercover motorway patrol.

#confession