Six y/o daughter fell and needed to get stitches. To distract her from the pain I showed her a summary of research on how swearing helps you endure pain. She went back to school the next days and called her teacher a cunt. Cue awkward telephone conversation.

Six y/o daughter fell and needed to get stitches. To distract her from the pain I showed her a summary of research on how swearing helps you endure pain. She went back to school the next days and called her teacher a cunt. Cue awkward telephone conversation.

#confession

Everytime I twist the nozzle on the showerhead to increase pressure, I imagine I am a dying Ricardo Montalban arming the Genesis device at the end of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn

Everytime I twist the nozzle on the showerhead to increase pressure, I imagine I am a dying Ricardo Montalban arming the Genesis device at the end of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn

#confession

I used to fart in the biscuit tin and then quickly put the lid back on before leaving for work when my partner told me that their mother was popping around for a coffee.

I used to fart in the biscuit tin and then quickly put the lid back on before leaving for work when my partner told me that their mother was popping around for a coffee.

#confession

Confess now and often. Use this link: https://b3ta.com/addfess

Confess now and often. Use this link: b3ta.com/addfess

#confession

I used to work in a Littlewoods food hall in the 90s I was a 16yo boy on pre-minimum wage. I had no interest in learning the difference between the 8 types of apples, or potatoes. Everyone got charged the cheap price.

I used to work in a Littlewoods food hall in the 90s I was a 16yo boy on pre-minimum wage. I had no interest in learning the difference between the 8 types of apples, or potatoes. Everyone got charged the cheap price.

#confession

My partner gives me a hard time because I can take ages to park the car. The truth is I'm terrified I'm going to be photographed and end up one of those Facebook pages that shames bad parking

My partner gives me a hard time because I can take ages to park the car. The truth is I'm terrified I'm going to be photographed and end up one of those Facebook pages that shames bad parking

#confession

Monthly date night with the wife tonight. I decided to do a bit of "manscaping" with my beard trimmer in anticipation. Succeeded in taking a chunk out of my scrotum near the base of my nob and bleeding like a stuck pig. No nookie for me this week.

Monthly date night with the wife tonight. I decided to do a bit of "manscaping" with my beard trimmer in anticipation. Succeeded in taking a chunk out of my scrotum near the base of my nob and bleeding like a stuck pig. No nookie for me this week.

#confession

It's only since being married that I've learnt It's possible to buy the wrong sort of shallots.

It's only since being married that I've learnt It's possible to buy the wrong sort of shallots.

#confession

I secretly wish the app that tracks all my 'women's stuff' would give me stats on all the fun stuff. Rather than telling me that I had more migraines than usual each month, tell me it's been an 'active' month. Also let me compete with friends and give me badges for achievements.

I secretly wish the app that tracks all my 'women's stuff' would give me stats on all the fun stuff. Rather than telling me that I had more migraines than usual each month, tell me it's been an 'active' month. Also let me compete with friends and give me badges for achievements.

#confession

Come to Fesshole Live in 2026! Tickets on sale for Manchester, Hull & Cambridge. Sweden Tour visits Malmö, Göteborg and Stockholm. Best of Fesshole, audience confessions, secret history & more: https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole

Come to Fesshole Live in 2026! Tickets on sale for Manchester, Hull & Cambridge. Sweden Tour visits Malmö, Göteborg and Stockholm. Best of Fesshole, audience confessions, secret history & more: sites.google.com/view/fessho…

#confession