Cold fusion breakthrough imminent, claim scientists after examining my microwave
Scientists believe they are close to unlocking cold fusion after observing me attempting to microwave frozen pizza for lunch.
"We've never seen a material with such high heat resistance," said lead researcher Nancy McDonald. "This breakthrough could pave the way to advanced materials which are the key for stable fusion power generation."
Researchers gathered astounding data. Despite the plate reaching temperatures in excess of 3 million Kelvin, the pizza remained ice cold, even after nuking it on high for four fucking minutes.
The results will be published in the journal Nature later this month, and an unfortunate documentary is also planned on Food Network.
#cold-fusion #cold-pizza