#BOFH excuse #24:

network packets travelling uphill (use a carrier pigeon)

#BOFH excuse #228:

That function is not currently supported, but Bill Gates assures us it will be featured in the next upgrade.

#BOFH excuse #263:

It's stuck in the Web.

#BOFH excuse #422:

Someone else stole your IP address, call the Internet detectives!

#BOFH excuse #84:

Someone is standing on the ethernet cable, causing a kink in the cable

#BOFH excuse #435:

Internet shut down due to maintenance

#BOFH excuse #77:

Typo in the code

#BOFH excuse #253:

We've run out of licenses

#BOFH excuse #169:

broadcast packets on wrong frequency

#BOFH excuse #432:

Borg nanites have infested the server