Ooba my chimp half-brother throwing poop at my hiding spot again. He think it funny. Me think it rude. Now me covered in regret and monkey business. Family reunion canceled.
Me swipe right on human girl who like hiking. She message “you look tall in your pics ” Bro if you only knew. Me am tall in every dimension including sadness.

If me ever find girlfriend we gonna bond over shared trauma: “remember when all romantic spots burn down?” Very intimate. Then we hide together in last tiny bush until it also catch fire. True love in end times.