Dad jokes: author edition.

I'm writing a book about glue, but I'm stuck on the first chapter.

🫠 🫠 🫠

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What was that crash? Do I want to know? I should check. But I'm so comfortable. But it sounded expensive. Maybe I don't want to know?

CRASH. BOOM. CRASH.

And I'm up.

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It doesn't even have to be the wrong pillow. It can be the right pillow. My neck doesn't care.

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I went to a restaurant yesterday. I asked the waiter, β€œWill my pizza be long?”

He said, β€œNo, it’ll be round.”

😁😁😁

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Me, sitting next to the hubby on the couch, grinning as I send him a meme and waiting to see when he finally starts laughing.

Or groaning.

Or shaking his head in disbelief.

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In my continuation of finding the most groan-worthy joke on the internet...

Why do pirates have such a hard time playing poker?

The captain's always standing on the deck.

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The new intern: This picture will be perfect!

The Gen Z editor: Looks good to me. Let's run it.

All the people with crackling knees: This is the funniest thing I've ever seen.

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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked what the rabbitΒ΄s blood type was, and the rabbit replied, "I'm not sure. IΒ΄m probably a Type O."

I'm so sorry. I'll see myself out.

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Most relatable post I've seen in a while. Just get the gas now. Tomorrow you will thank you.

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