Selfie

Waiting at the airport I just got asked by an old couple if I could take a selfie of them. #fail

#Airport #AucklandComedy #Comedy #Fail #NZComedy #Selfie

Organics?

Organic food’s another name for an old idea.

My mum used to serve up steak and kidney, liver and bacon, sweetbreads, etc.

We just called it “Offal.”

#AucklandComedy #Comedy #Food #NZComedy #OrganicFood

Easter

Chocolate is highly toxic to rabbits.

This makes me wonder if the Easter Bunny gives humans chocolate in a lagamorphic attempt to wipe out humanity?

#AucklandComedy #Bunnies #Chocolate #Comedy #Easter #EasterBunny #NZComedy

Censor

I hate the way autocorrect censors my posts.

Every fishing line.

#AucklandComedy #Autocorrect #Comedy #Fishing #NZComedy

Drink

All the bars and bottle stores being closed at Easter is driving me to drink.

#AucklandComedy #Comedy #Drink #Easter #NZComedy #Whiskey

Reminder

A shart is just nature’s way of reminding you to change your underwear.

#AucklandComedy #Comedy #NZComedy #Shart #Underwear

Beauty Parlour

I think I’ll start a beauty parlor promoted as “By bad spellers for poor readers.”

I’ll call it Heredressers.

#AucklandComedy #BeautyParlour #Comedy #NZComedy #Spelling

Polly Gone

I’ve dropped all my jokes about polygons … too edgy.

#AucklandComedy #Comedy #Maths #NZComedy #Polygons

Cannelloni

I think my Google-foo is failing.

I typed in my symptoms & it said I have cannelloni.

Not even close, my pastaia swears I had fettuccine.

#AucklandComedy #Comedy #Food #Google #NZComedy #Pasta

Hexadecaphobia

After decades of slaving in the data mines I’ve caught hexadecaphobia.

#AucklandComedy #Comedy #DataMines #Hexadecaphobia #Mines #NZComedy