European Tour (Repost)

Q: What do dead Kiwis tour Europe in?

A: VW Zombis.

(Repost to go with theme of yesterday’s post)

#AucklandComedy #Comedy #DEATH #NZComedy #Touring #Zombies

Zombies

Why do zombies eat brains?

Why do vampires avoid the sun?

Why do werewolves hump your leg?

#AucklandComedy #Comedy #NZComedy #Vampires #Werewolves #Zombies

1950s

Imagine 1950s social media.

Send a letter, wait 2 weeks for a reply, then suddenly we have airmail and the LOL comes back in under a week.

#1950s #Airmail #AucklandComedy #Comedy #NZComedy #SocialMedia

Butter don’t melt (Repost)

I’ve just realised. Butter really doesn’t melt in vegans’ mouths.

#AucklandComedy #Butter #Comedy #Food #NZComedy #Vegans

Fake Spread?

I’m carefully studying the margarine.

I don’t want to spread any fake butter.

#AucklandComedy #Butter #Comedy #Food #Margarine #NZComedy #Study

Margarine?

I bought a large tub of margarine to share with my neighbours …

community spread.

#AucklandComedy #Comedy #CommunitySpread #Food #Margarine #NZComedy

Not Funny

There’s nothing funny about being funny.

#AucklandComedy #Comedy #Funny #NZComedy

Autocorrect

I’ve finally convinced Autocorrect that I’m unlikely to say “I don’t give a water bird.”

Now for the rare occasion when I want to keep my duck.

#AucklandComedy #Autocorrect #Comedy #Duck #NZComedy #WaterFowl

Sheep

Sheep are gregarious.

Named for Saint Gregory who taught them to bleat in harmony.

#AucklandComedy #Bleating #Comedy #Gregarious #Sheep

Superpowers

My superpowers are intact!

I hung the washing and now it’s raining.

#AucklandComedy #Comedy #Laundry #NZComedy #Raining #RainMaker #Superpower #Washing