The UberduckI am trying to sign up for the #AppleDeveloperProgram. It wants a photo of my ID, front and back. Not wild about that, but signing up to distribute an app through Steam was no less invasive.
Except it doesn't work. They want a photo taken with the FaceTime camera, fine. "Sorry, it was blurry or obscured. Please try again." "Sorry, your files could not be uploaded. Please try again." "This account is not eligible for the Apple Developer Program. Please contact support."
I'm now on hold listening to fucking opera music after the admittedly very friendly and patient Apple rep admitted he's a contractor and so's his boss and yeah, telling me to wait 24 hours to see if it gets better was probably bullshit.
Get to someone who actually works for Apple. "Have you tried it on your iPad?" Why, no, because I use my iPad for apps and not development stuff. I just wanna publish my game on Steam and check the Mac button.
Okay, let's get the app installed on the ipad and go through the same process again. Oh, it opens up a webview to access the camera. With a "cancel this webview" bar across the bottom, almost completely obscuring the submit button. And it defaults to the front camera, but there are no camera controls. No tap to focus, nothing. It'll get the obverse of my license because there's a face for it to home in on, but the reverse seems specifically designed to fuck with automatic focus. Holograms, shiny glare, no clear face, just bar codes and tiny-ass type. Nothing I do can get the iPad to take a clear picture in this mode, and there's no way to tell it to just use a file already on the device.
So now I'm having to wait while whatever Apple team is in charge of this shit tries to figure out if it's just me or if this might be a systemic problem with their verification process.
Such first world problems, I know.
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Kevin Karhan 
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