Mastodawn

I said “we’re leaving in 5 minutes.”
My toddler heard: “Let’s undress and hide.” 🤔

I opened my toddler’s hand to see what they were hiding. I regret everything. 🫣

Me: ‘Stop throwing your food.’ Toddler: launches it across the room while maintaining eye contact.

My toddler just whispered ‘Mommy, I love you’ then asked me to buy them something. Cute. Manipulative. Expensive. 💸

I put my toddler to bed and somehow end up more exhausted than they are. 😵💫

‘Mommy, can I have a snack?’ - My child, immediately after rejecting the dinner I just made. 🤦♀️

I let my toddler ‘help’ with the laundry. Now everything is inside out and my patience is gone. 🧺

Parenting is just saying ‘Don’t touch that’ on repeat for 18 years. 🤦♀️

Why do toddlers act like wearing socks is the worst thing that’s ever happened to them? 🧦

Mommy, I’m full!’ - Toddler, after two bites of dinner. Five minutes later: ‘Can I have a snack?’ 😑