i am really grateful to my #adhd meds for allowing me to be productive and get my life in order somewhat.
but the effects they have on my personality are sometimes very frustrating and depressing.
on a stupid whim that crossed my mind at 21:00, i ended up writing a whole ass 5k word essay about that thought to a friend. i then vented to another friend about that topic in voice chat for nearly three hours straight until midnight, ruining her night. i knew it was a complex and overwhelming topic but i physically couldnt stop... i then spent another hour desperately trying to put it into more concise words for fedi, and gave up.
i am being told that i ramble too much constantly now. that i keep repeating and circling around the same point. that i'm uncomfortable to be around because i vent and dump so much. i don't know when to shut up about things that occupy my mind and special interests. i've even been told that my writing reads like chatGPT, with the bullet points, dashes, list formats and all.
people told me i was annoying. people gently tell me that i've been repeating the same thing three times already. people tell me that i'm being stressful. i used to have social skills, where are they?? why cant i be pleasant to be around anymore...
and i mean, look at this shit. this post alone is essay length again. i hate it. i can't just write a single paragraph and be done with it. it always needs five repetitions, three examples, more flavour and more background information.
meds, please leave me alone, please just let me chill, stop forcing me to obsess over and waste time on this stupid shit. please. i just want to sleep. i don't wanna alienate all my friends. i dont wanna be annoying. i wanna be pleasant to be around.. everyone's leaving me. help
#lisdexamfetamine #vyvanse #elvanse #LDX #lisdexamfetamin #ADHS
Will MacGregor
lia
Maggie Maybe
Coffeedate with ADHD
Jimmy B. 
