bluesky is a fantastic website i got misgendered by a trans woman this morning because i said that people shouldn’t be loudly proclaiming their love of fictional child porn in public

#bluesky #vent

Oh my God

https://sh.itjust.works/post/60556519

A depressing thought: I'll never get my holy grails for my plush and tamagotchi collection due to scalpers and I'll be lucky to get the 300+ hits I got on Control (pact!AU fic), let alone at least 1000. Fate has a funny way of keeping me in check, I guess.

#vent

Kind or Clueless? Can we play together or not?

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta

People mean well, they really do.

But, let me say generic small talk has got to go.

It’s annoying and cringe-worthy. And I wish people would just stop being so clueless.

The person seemed to have wanted to start a conversation by saying “Hope you are well.” But they showed their true colors by not responding to me, not even to let me know how they are doing. What does this say? Phony is the first thing that comes to mind.

That dated email banter has to stop. If you are sincere in wanting to know about someone, ask more specific questions — about their career, their pets, their hobbies. Your generic email is effortless.

Is this how you want to be viewed? As a bore? Then go ahead, keep typing “hope you are well” but don’t expect an answer to your email.

2. “Any big plans for the weekend?” I’m living the creative dream. I have no two days alike. For real! There is no routine in my life at all. I can get up as early as 5 a.m. or sleep to 8 on any given day — including weekends. As a journalist I might be covering a story on the weekend, but hitting the beach on a Tuesday. There is no rhyme or reason to my life.

For those of us who love our careers, we don’t live for vacations or weekends, we just live! Lucky us!

(As a side note, in my much younger days I worked for four years full time for a musical instrument store. My hours were 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. with Sundays and Wednesdays off. That was truly a dream life. People think not having a full weekend off was bad, but Saturdays went so fast; I still went out Friday nights, had Sundays off, then my Tuesday nights were like a Friday night all over again. That gig prepared me for my future dream career! It’s always great having time off when hardly anyone else is off!)

Anyway, I recently saw an interview with actress/artist Eve Plumb, talking about how she’d rather work than go on a vacation. I agree wholeheartedly! I just love what I do. And at the end of the day, there’s no better place I’d love to be than in my husband’s arms — it doesn’t matter where we are.

Mind you, I do have great weekends when I can fit them in my schedule. But I don’t wait for the weekends to have fun. My life is fun. And, let’s face it, nothing beats taking a random day off when no one else is off — less crowds, less traffic, cooler memories.

Know your audience. We’re not all working for the weekends, most of the time it’s the week days that work for us!

3. What can’t you do? It was once called “branding.” Now it’s called multi-hyphenate. It means generating income from multiple sources. I’m so glad it’s a thing because you’re always evolving and learning. Doctors attend conferences to learn more about their trade. David Bowie was a musician, actor, artist. So many people have multi-hyphenate careers.

I started out as a journalist. But that wasn’t enough. I wanted to be a ghostwriter too. Then after helping so many others write their books, I wrote six of my own. Then I became a public speaker. Then a relationship coach. I do all these things and it’s awesome! 

Now suppose you meet  someone who is happy being a housewife. They may say, “What can’t you do?” when they learn all you’re involved in.

How are you supposed to answer that?

Are you supposed to run down a list of things you really can’t do?

I can’t sing. I’m not the best housekeeper. I’m a nervous driver. I can’t memorize scripts.

Is self-depreciation the answer to the question?

Or do you just smile, which can be interpreted as arrogant?

Don’t put people on the spot like that. It’s not kind.

NOW FOR THE GRAND FINALE — I am not alone!

Validation. When I write an opinion piece such as this, I like to do a brief Google search and see if others are complaining about the same things I am.

It seems that each of these three things bother other people too.

It’s not all in my head. These things are not cool to say to others.

If you don’t say them, you’re ahead of the game.

If you do, don’t take this personally. It’s easy to up your game and figure out better ways to begin emails, to start conversation, or to tell someone they are amazing without appearing catty or unkind.

Life isn’t living unless you’re challenging yourself. How about it? Today!

The Irony of Being Single

Me: "I'm feeling sad and lonely that I'm single! No one wants me!"

Also, me:

• Year 2013: Someone liked me, and friends helped her to let me know, but I rejected her.

• Year 2019: Someone who had a crush on me sat beside me, but I left that place. Of course, she was hurt by this, which made her stop trying anymore.

• Year 2020: I and someone were best friends; then she expressed her interest with more effort than past women who had a crush on me. But why did I frequently reject her and break up with her? It took me a lifetime to learn the lessons and feel the heartbreak because of my decisions.

• Year 2020: But with a different partner: Instant online relationships. I felt like she had a crush on me earlier than I realised. But despite her sincere expressions of love towards me, why did I break up then decide to be together and break up again? Maybe I am afraid of closeness.

• Another year 2020:
  • Many online peers; some chose me as an option because their relationships were going to fail, but I didn't recognise the liking. She expressed: "You have me? What do you mean?" then she slowly faded from my sight.
  • Gaming partners: There were three different partners who chose me to have fun together in different times. One of them I broke up with days later; she faded away from me slowly. Even though I saw her real Instagram account, which was very human. The second one I broke up with; she just disappeared and never messaged me again. The third one: a day after I broke up with her, she told her audience that I hurt her. Then, she just left the scene, and I haven't seen her in the video game again.

• Year 2022 (if this is correct): I had an instant attraction to someone, and I messaged her: "💖" — she was surprised. Many other group chat members seemed jealous and even created false stories that she cheated. I asked her: "Kau minat aku ke?" (Are you interested in me?) but received no clear, direct answer from her. She messaged me many times personally, but I didn't reply; I felt blurry or foggy at that time. Then I replied: "Kau sendiri tak cakap kau minat aku, dan agama kita tak sama." (You yourself didn't say you liked me, and our religions are different.) She told me to clarify: "Just because I didn't admit I like or am interested in you, it doesn't literally or truly mean I didn't like or am interested in you." Days later, she then found my mistakes online and used it to justify blocking me.

Pushing people away made me single, but reflecting on these patterns helps me learn and grow.

#Relationships #Reflection #Dating #Single #Growth #Learning #Lessons #Heartbreak #Psychology #Psych #Fear #Irony #MissedConnections #SelfSabotage #LifeLessons #PersonalGrowth #Memories #MentalHealth #Vent #Love #Alone #SocialMedia #Social #Gaming #Connection

Si ce n’est Amour (Pétrarque)

https://arbrealettres.wordpress.com/2026/05/16/si-ce-nest-amour-petrarque/