Mean Feds Took Away Trump's Classified Reverse Night Light Binky Folder, Now His Bedroom's Too Bright :(

Can Trump even sleep now?

Wonkette
TRUMP AND JOE BIDEN BOTH STOLE CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS AND TOOK THEM TO MAR-A-LAGO! (Except Joe Biden)

This thing is not like that thing.

Wonkette
Happy Holidays To Trump Aide Who Brings Printer On Golf Cart To Print Out Nice Things That Keep Him Happy

A copy machine would be unwieldy, obviously.

Wonkette