Tina Okoli-AzzalarabEx-Bestie Who Literally Tried to Single White Female My Life
Grab your favorite beverage—coffee, tea, or maybe a massive glass of wine—because you are going to need it for this one. Welcome back to the blog, y’all. Today, we are diving deep into a chapter of my life so utterly unhinged that if I pitched it to a reality TV network, the producers would hand it back to me and say it was “too unrealistic.”
We all have that one ex-friend who teaches us a harsh lesson about boundaries. But let me tell you about my ex-friend. She didn’t just cross boundaries; she demolished them, set them on fire, and then tried to literally steal my identity in the ashes.
Here is the wild, exhausting, and strangely terrifying story of the friend who was so psychopathic and obsessed with me that she systematically tried to take over my life. And sitting here in the year 2026, I still cannot wrap my head around the wildly sick obsession she has with me.
I should have known things were going to be weird from the jump. This girl—a Black woman who I genuinely thought was going to be my sister from another mister—had the exact same name as my actual sister. Not only that, but she also had the exact same birth month and birth year as my sister. At the time, I thought, “Wow, what a fun coincidence! We are destined to be family.”
The universe wasn’t giving me a cute coincidence; it was flashing a giant, neon red flag.
We were friends for five solid years. And when I say I was a good friend, I mean I was the blueprint. I was there for her through everything. I sat with her through pregnancies, multiple abortions, and heartbreaking miscarriages. I drove from one hospital to another, holding her hand, wiping her tears, and believing every single story and lie she spun. I gave her my last dollar without a second thought. I thought she was my ride-or-die.
But looking back, the most devastating realization is this: I was busy being her friend, while she was busy making me her enemy for absolutely no reason.
She was out to get me from the very start. Even while we were supposedly “best friends,” she was secretly running a smear campaign against me. She tracked down men I used to serve in the military with, messaging them to portray me as this horrible, toxic person. She made herself look like the sweet, believable victim so everyone would turn on me. She even contacted my ex, Reggie, just to try and ruin things between us and make my life miserable. She wanted me to be the villain so badly.
For the longest time, I thought the “official” fallout between us happened because of a guy. I had a very short fling with one of her brothers. Because I respect the girl code, I went to her beforehand and asked if she was okay with it. She looked me in the eye and said, “Oh yeah, totally fine! Go for it!”
Tip for the ladies: When a toxic friend says “it’s fine,” it is a trap. It is a giant bear trap covered in leaves.
I had the fling, and almost immediately, she flipped the script. Suddenly, it was not fine. She used it as her villain origin story to hold against me forever. But honestly? The brother fling was just a convenient excuse to unleash the hatred she already had for me.
Clearly, her revenge plot was to collect my exes like Thanos collecting Infinity Stones. Because getting rid of me wasn’t enough; she needed to step into my shoes.
Her ultimate betrayal happened right under my own roof. I actually caught her sleeping with my husband at the time. In my apartment! I was so furious I had to call the cops just to physically have her removed from my home. And the absolute kicker? To this day, she holds a grudge against me for calling the cops on her! Ma’am, you were in my bed with my husband! What did you want me to do, leave a mint on the pillow and make y’all breakfast?!
Not only did she sleep with that husband, but she also slept with my ex-husband (my daughter’s father), my ex boyfriends and ex military colleague. Then, because the “Tina’s Leftovers” buffet was apparently still open, she moved on to my son’s father. She didn’t just sleep with him—she went ahead and had a whole baby with him.
Before we get to the twisted dynamic with my son’s father, let’s talk about the absolute sheer audacity this girl possessed regarding my survival.
There was a time when things were really tight for me, and I was relying on an EBT card to get by. I had managed to save up about $3,000 worth of food stamps on it to make sure my family was fed. Guess what my “best friend” did? She stole it. She flat-out swiped my EBT card and sold it for cash on the street to make a quick buck. (for 2026: I am now completely off EBT, financially independent, and thriving, so her little heist didn’t break me—but the audacity remains unmatched.)
Let’s talk about my son’s father for a minute, because the dynamic between these two is a psychological thriller.
If this man had a backbone, it would be made of overcooked spaghetti. He is an absolute wimp who lets another female completely control him. He has zero thoughts of his own and goes to her for every single piece of advice. Their entire chemistry is built on a foundation of mutual hatred for me. Every single day, she contacts him just to ask, “Have you spoken to Tina today?” On the rare occasions his single brain cell fires up and he admits he feels like reaching out to fix things, she swoops in and talks him out of it.
She uses him to control my life, and worse, she uses him to control whether or not he has a relationship with his own son. She actually sits there and validates his deadbeat behavior. She tells him that he was right to walk away, that he shouldn’t care about his son, that it’s “best” he doesn’t have a relationship with him, and—get this—that his son “will find him when he grows up.”
She is actively molding him to be just like her: running away from all accountability and responsibility. She explicitly tells him to continue to disrespect me, treat me like trash, and ignore my attempts to co-parent all while he is out there entertaining a bunch of other women with his 7+ kids.
He literally handed over the passwords to his emails and texting apps. She ordered him to block me everywhere, disabled his social media accounts, and dictates that if he must contact me, he has to use weird burner texting apps so she can coach him on what to say.
But here is the absolute most tragic part: She thinks she’s hurting me by keeping him away. But the person her actions are actually affecting in the long term is my son. At the end of the day, when my son grows up, I am not the one he is going to blame. I’m the one who stayed. My son won’t be pointing the finger at me; he will be looking directly at his father. My son’s father is the one who will have to look his own flesh and blood in the eye and explain why he chose a bitter, obsessed ex-friend’s advice over his own child.
If you thought it couldn’t get any crazier, buckle up, because this is where it turns into a true crime documentary.
She eventually moved to Arizona. Keep in mind, I live in California and I have never been to Arizona in my life.
Somehow, she went to a courthouse in Arizona and filed for a restraining order against me. But she didn’t just file the paperwork—she actually got someone to pretend to be me. She got a body double, made a fake ID with my information, and had this person appear in front of a judge as “Tina.” The judge, believing this imposter was me, granted the restraining order!
When I found out, I called the Arizona courts in an absolute panic, explaining that I have never set foot in their state. The court employees literally argued with me, saying, “Ma’am, you appeared in court.” No, I didn’t! A literal fraudster did!
To get this restraining order, she fabricated “proof.” She submitted email exchanges where she had intentionally rage-baited me to get a reaction. But worse than that, she made a terrifying, psychotic collage featuring a picture of a gun next to a picture of my son. She posted threats on my life and my son’s life, writing captions like “I wish a bitch would” and “Ask Tina, she knows.”
She threatened my child’s life, stole my identity, committed perjury, and defrauded a court of law—all because she wants to be me so desperately that it is making her clinically unhinged.
Her obsession doesn’t stop with me; she is even morphing into my son’s father. He likes Mercedes Benz cars? Boom, she goes out and buys a Mercedes. She copies his mannerisms, his habits, his style, bankrupting her own personality to mirror his just to prove her “loyalty.”
Why go through all that effort? Why the fake IDs, the court fraud, the military stalking, and the baby daddies? I don’t get what she wants from me or ever wanted from me.
She wants me to reach out so badly just so she can start drama. Need proof? In January 2025, after years of not speaking, after the EBT theft, the cops, the baby, the smear campaign, and the Arizona identity theft… she sent me a text.
“Hey, just asking how you’re doing. Hoping you’re fine!”
I had to laugh. The audacity is breathtaking. You commit federal identity theft, threaten my son with a gun, and hack my inbox, but you want to casually check in and see how my Tuesday is going? Make it make sense!
For the longest time, my intentions were pure. I wanted a final conversation to find out why she did all of this. But now, in 2026, I’ve realized something incredibly empowering: The block and the silence is the answer. That is the only closure I will ever get, and it’s the only closure I need.
Let the psychopathic puppet master and her spineless puppet have each other in their weird, obsessive, Mercedes-driving bubble. As for me? I’m logging off, living my beautiful, financially thriving, drama-free life, protecting my peace, and making sure my passwords are un-hackable.
Until next time,
Tina
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Zsolt Zsemba
Zsolt Zsemba
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