I realized I was performing calmness in every single text I sent. Not because I'm calm. Because showing emotion had consequences. Flatness became my armor. That's what manipulation trains into you.

#emotionalabuse #mentalhealth #toxicrelationships

She said "do whatever you want" and I spent three hours trying to find the right answer. There wasn't one. That's the point. It's a test designed so any choice you make becomes evidence against you later.

#manipulation #gaslighting #toxicrelationships

My friend showed me a text from her partner: "I just want you to be happy." I asked when he last did something that made her happy. She couldn't name one thing. The words performed care. The relationship didn't.

#toxicrelationships #manipulation #mentalhealth

The kids are the reason most men stay too long.
https://wp.me/p84YjG-ayG
#toxic #toxicrelationships #divorce #men #desperation #learning #conflict #kids #parents

https://zsoltzsemba.com/how-to-leave-toxic-relationship-when-you-have-kids/

Proud to share that our psychotherapist Katayon Qahir was recently featured in Authority Magazine talking about something that doesn’t get nearly enough attention — healing from psychological abuse.

Katayon works with adults recovering from toxic relationships, chronic stress, and trauma. She offers virtual sessions across Ontario.

Link to the full interview in bio — it’s worth the read.

#ToxicRelationships #PsychologicalAbuse #NarcissisticAbuse #HealingFromAbuse #TraumaTherapy

To the extent we have a clearly defined antagonist, it would be an anthropomorphization of the abuse we’ve suffered at the hands/paws/wings of some people we’re glad to no longer be in touch with. This typically means two specific people, whom we will only identify as a dragon and a bird.

Under the Dragon

The dragon’s goal would have been my complete submission and subjugation. He’d want me to be his unquestioning slave, thinking only of his pleasure, with all of my lusts and desires trained away. He specifically said my arousal and pleasure were turn-offs for him; any scenario should involve his pleasure and his alone. To call his actions rape would be a misnomer, in his opinion: I’d be an object incapable of granting or withholding consent, no different than a sex sleeve.

Once that was achieved, we could envision one of two outcomes.

Almost Normal

I continue to work a normal job, with the expectation that I pay for everything he wants and needs, even if it’s to my detriment. I wouldn’t have disposable income of my own; it would be his to spend as he sees fit. I wouldn’t be allowed to have any sexual interactions with anyone else; I might not even be allowed much contact with other people. My only reward would be the honor (as he’d put it) of continuing to be abused by him, as opposed to being simply tossed aside and left to rot. After all, I’d be his

Permanently Enslaved

I give up any hint of a life at all beyond being his 24/7 slave. This would certainly not be a healthy BDSM relationship; this would likely amount to some kind of torture. Food and drink would be permitted only if he felt like it, and he would not be fair about what I’d have to do to earn sustenance. There’s a chance he’d try to have me amputated, or at least near-permanently in bondage that rendered my arms and legs useless, so that I’d be a better fuck pillow for him.

Contact with other people would be lost entirely; I’d be nothing more than an object and treated accordingly. And he’d insist he deserves such a slave by virtue of being a dragon, and that knowing my place beneath him, suffering whatever Sadistic whims he has, is something I should be thankful for.

Under the Bird

The bird is a much more insidious and subtle creature. They were crafty, both granting and denying pleasure to condition my behavior. They wanted an unhealthy degree of co-dependency; we were expected to be in contact with them almost every waking hour unless they were busy with something else. Even when I was at a convention they weren’t at, it was very clear they were thinking about what I’d do or get for them. Gaslighting was common; they’d often ask “Is it?” even over relatively obvious things, as if we shouldn’t trust our own senses and, instead, defer to their perception.

To the extent we can articulate their goal, it seemed to be this: To have us think of them more than we think of ourselves. We wouldn’t have been a slave; we simply would have been less than them in a way that ensured our perpetual dependency.

The ongoing control would have, likewise, been subtle. We’d be encouraged to spend more time with their friends and less time with ours. Their lack of interest our hobbies would have made us quit certain things in favor of doing what they enjoy instead. In case of disagreement, we’d be expected to defer to them even when it conflicted with our own perception or emotion. Expressing a need they approved of would be fulfilled. Expressing needs they disapproved of would be scorned or ignored. Expressing unhappiness with them, in any way, would have led to personal attacks intended to make us believe we were wrong to have those thoughts at all.

Frighteningly, we’d probably believe we were happy about that result, too.

#WordWeavers #Abuse #Amputation #Toxic #Abusive #AbusiveRelationships #ToxicRelationships

Sometimes we reduce communication with the people we love, not because we hate them but because they make us feel like we are nothing to them.

#SelfPreservation #LettingGo #EmotionalDistance #ToxicRelationships #HealingJourney #SelfWorth #HealthyBoundaries #RelationshipAdvice #MentalHealthAwareness #SilentTreatment #EmotionalHealth #KnowYourValue #Detach #LoveYourselfFirst #Quotes #ShareInspireQuotes

As we celebrate the day of love, I am taking the time to highlight some books portray toxic and destructive relationships. You might see some familiar ones, including a major one that is released as movie today...

#books #bookstagram #classics #toxicrelationships #blogposts #bookbloggers #valentinesday #wutheringheights #literaryfiction #destructiverelationship

https://cupofteawiththatbookplease.com/destructive-love-books-with-devastating-relationships/