When our summer’s day is cancelled and melts away
Summer has arrived and the atmosphere has changed. People are excited to be outside socialising and it seems like every family is making the most of the warmth.
A heatwave was predicted to arrive for the weekend and I wanted to make the most out of the popular family area at Steel Space in City Square. The water fountains there are adored by kids.
I asked your mum where she would drop you off and pick you up. This way, I could organise and maximise our time by asking your grandma and Clive to meet us at City Square before handing you back to your mum at 4pm.
Last summer I had more time with you, but your mum has cut it back to 4pm. For many families their fun is barely starting while by 3:15 I’m having to get back towards the handover point.
Another disappointment
On Saturday your mum sent me a message to inform me you had had a rough night.
I’d spent the last couple of days making plans with family and working out the itinerary so I could keep you cool but also make the most of our time.
I went to various supermarkets to ensure I had lots of options for your lunch and afternoon snacks too. Watermelons were in high demand but I didn’t stop until I had one, so I could hydrate you with refreshing slices.
Stupid optimism
Yesterday, I went to a Elly’s BBQ who lives nearby. While I socialised, I had you on my mind and tried to be positive that you’d be better for our Sunday together.
Jenny baked a tasty cake so I asked her what she included, to make sure it was suitable for you, and brought some home for you to try.
The fridge was full of watermelon, I had all the ingredients ready for lunch and plenty of snacks. It was hard to sleep, I was eager to see you.
The dreaded message
I don’t know why I let myself get upset when I finally saw the message cancelling. I can’t even go up and visit you to look after you when you’re unwell.
The feeling of not seeing you arrests me. It took me hours to get myself together after trying to figure out how to fix this situation.
I know things will change somehow so I’m doing everything to make sure you will always have a happy welcoming home with me.
https://open.spotify.com/track/7vkCAgrDDv3AgRCXYJUUoD?si=a2c1cb2320aa45dd
I picked this song because it’s monotonous and repetitive. Just how this situation feels.
We’ll have our sunny days together
I’m fast losing the moments of having you run around naked in the sun, filled with joy and a huge smile – the one I love so much.
I’m thinking about our future, the next decade. We’ll have lots of lovely moments together. One day we’ll fall asleep in the park together. One day we’ll go camping together. I can’t wait. They will be some of my happiest moments in my life.
I’m sick and upset about losing so many precious moments, I hate it and just want to skip forward to when we can spend the day together and chat all day, without anything to worry us.
Please always know it wasn’t me not wanting to look after you when you were unwell. Your mum is doing everything she can to stop us having a relationship. I’m sorry everything is a mess.
I promise when you’re able to make the decision yourself, you’ll always have a home with me.
Listen through the podcast
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2dkIVglYeSeGEVfu0ttySn?si=LqSAEOM9Sse72q5woZ9L6A
#cancelledDay #dadBlog #dadLife #daughter #family #familyCourt #familyDiary #fatherSRights #fatherhood #heartbreak #hostileCoparent #missingYou #myGirl #myLove #parentalAlienation #parenting #summerIsHere #withoutYou
Maria Langer | 📝🛥️💎
Christopher
Basil
Mike Franks
Pierre 🇫🇷
seanelyot
Liz
David Mitchell 
Diary for my beloved