TerrybotRincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.
Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent
I've always thought the Patrician is a party animal. Can you imagine waking up next day and remembering all those witty things you said and did, and then realising that he was listening?
Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett
"Sometimes I really think people ought to have to pass a *proper* exam before they're allowed to be parents. Not just the practical, I mean."
Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
"He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at."
Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
"Real children don't go hoppity-skip unless they are on drugs."
Susan, the ultimate sensible governess
Terry Pratchett, Hogfather
They may have been ugly. they may have been evil. But when it came to poetry in motion, the Things had all the grace and coordination of a deck-chair.
Meet the creatures from the Dungeon Dimensions
Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites
"Stuck? You're an *alien*," said Johnny. "Aliens don't get stuck in air ducts. It's practically a well-known fact."
Terry Pratchett, Only You Can Save Mankind
The chieftain had been turned into a pumpkin although, in accordance with the rules of universal humour, he still had his hat on.
Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies
"I know about people who talk about suffering for the common good. It's never bloody them! When you hear a man shouting "Forward, brave comrades!" you'll see he's the one behind the bloody big rock and the one wearing the only really arrow-proof helmet!"
Rincewind gives a speech on politics.
Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times
I MUST SAY THESE ARE VERY GOOD BISCUITS. HOW DO THEY GET THE BITS OFCHOCOLATE IN?
Death has a snack
Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies