This past Sunday some friends and I went out to celebrate my birthday as I had to work the actual day of it.
One of the people that met up with us after dinner was a friend that I really liked and we had been getting closer to each other, even talking about being intimate with each other.
Everything was going so well the whole night and we decided to go to my favorite dive bar to finish the night. This friend and I started to dance a bit, being pretty naughty, and then she asked me to go outside with her. I kind of assumed that she just wanted some air, or some quiet to talk.
We kissed a little and we’re getting frisky, but then she started to get very aggressive. She reached under my skirt and squeezed my genitals so hard I cried out in pain, I have not had surgery yet so there are still boy parts down there. The wind and any strength I had was taken out of me and all I could do was cry and ask her to stop. She did, but then reached under my dress again and grabbed my breasts hard enough that it hurt. I cried again in pain asking her to please stop.
I finally got her to stop and I asked her to come inside so I could get her a Lyft home. She followed, but then began her aggressive attack again. I got her off of me and finally got her inside where my other friend and I tried to get her a ride home.
She wound up leaving, saying she could get home on her own. At this point I just conceded as I needed her away from me. The second she left I just collapsed on the bar floor and sobbed.
My friend, someone I wanted to be intimate with in the most beautiful way had just attacked and humiliated me.
Some people wonder why we don’t fight back in situations like this.
One, I was very drunk which is not something I do often and it severely hampered my ability to retaliate.
Second, I was taken completely off guard. One moment I was enjoying being touched and embracing this friend of mine, the next my body was being ravaged. My brain got completely confused and it was difficult to respond. Mostly because of how drunk I was, but also I am realizing how confusing this is to our minds to go from a state of complete pleasure to pain and fear.
So, I have now lost a friend and she doesn’t remember doing any of this. I also have to come to grips that I was just #SexuallyAssaulted
A new part of my journey is ahead, and not one I ever wanted to go down again.
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