My dog's hearing is impeccable... when a cheese wrapper crinkles. For everything else, it's just vibes and profound eye contact.

#DogLife #SelectiveHearing #fedi #growth

Me: Calls toddler’s name 10 times No response. Me: Opens a bag of crisps Toddler: ‘WHAT’S THAT?!’ 🍿👀

#MomLife #SelectiveHearing #SnackRadar #ICantEven #BabyYumYum #BYY

Why is it that toddlers never hear ‘time for bed’ but ALWAYS hear ‘do you want cake?’ 🎂

#MomLife #SelectiveHearing #ICantEven #SnackAddict #BabyYumYum #BYY

Democrats keep sending me surveys* asking the questions they want to ask, with no opportunity to tell them what I want to tell them. That's kind of the problem with most Democratic politicians: they don't really want to know what I think; they want to know if I approve of what they think. No wonder they're losing voters.

*aka requests for money

#SelectiveHearing
#Democrats

✨🦻 New song drop!
“Selective Hearing (Rose-Colored Ears)” now comes in two flavors:
🌌 Celestial Lullaby — for drifting above the noise
🤠 Country Toe-Tapper — for stomping past the nonsense

🎧 Inspired by The Eardrum Lyricizer™—the (imaginary) device that turns everyday chaos into verse.

Turn down the world. Turn up the poetry.
🎶 #NewMusic #SelectiveHearing #PoetryInYourEar #SongDrop #AIArtPop #CountryFolk #LullabyDreams #MusicMagic #TheEardrumLyricizer

I love how toddlers call you ‘Mommy’ 100 times a day but ignore you completely when you say their name ONCE. 👀

#MomLife #ToddlerSuperpowers #SelectiveHearing #WhyAreTheyLikeThis #BabyYumYum #BYY