#Repost @jeaninepirreaux
The Ford worker who called Trump a pedo protector is a patriot and national treasure.
Donate to his GoFundMe. TJ Sabula, I love you.

#satire #satiricalnews #comedy #politicalcommentarv #comedyreels

Local Family Shocked Their Angelic Kid Wasn’t Secret Ninja Assassin

#Satire #BreakingNews #PureOfHeart #FamilyStatements #SatiricalNews By: TheJestPress.com **Family Declares Stabbed Student "Pure of Heart," Authorities Assess Wizard Ancestry** In a heartwarming yet knife-edge twist, the family of local university student Tyler Monroe, who was recently stabbed during a campus altercation, announced Monday that he was "pure of heart." The declaration, typically reserved…

http://thejestpress.com/2025/08/04/local-family-shocked-their-angelic-kid-wasnt-secret-ninja-assassin/?utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=jetpack_social

Denmark Zoo Launches Small Pet Donation Program, Predators Prepare Gourmet Feast

#SatiricalNews #BreakingMeows #TinyPetsBigDinner #NotSoFurryFriends #HarshFoodChain By: TheJestPress.com **Denmark Zoo Asks People to Donate Small Pets as “Enriching” Predator Meals; Local Hamsters Sleep with One Eye Open** In a move that has both bewildered animal lovers and thrilled bored lions, the Copenhagen Carnivore Center has issued a plea unlike any before: They’re asking the…

http://thejestpress.com/2025/08/04/denmark-zoo-launches-small-pet-donation-program-predators-prepare-gourmet-feast/?utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=jetpack_social

Zelenskyy Aims to NATO-ify Ukraine’s Air Force, Invites Airplane Playdates

#SatiricalNews #Zelenskyy #NATO #UkraineAirForce #AviationHumor By: TheJestPress.com **Zelenskyy: Our Goal is to Integrate Ukraine’s Air Force Into NATO, Assuming Everyone Can Agree on Which Buttons to Push** In a move that has certainly made both NATO Air Force commanders and Microsoft Flight Simulator fans nervous, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy announced today that his country’s air…

http://thejestpress.com/2025/08/03/zelenskyy-aims-to-nato-ify-ukraines-air-force-invites-airplane-playdates/?utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=jetpack_social

US Envoy Visits Gaza; Hospital Says Food Runs Deadly This Season

#GazaDiplomacy #FoodNotBombs #USVisits #SatiricalNews #PeaceMission By: TheJestPress.com In what sources are calling “Operation Diplomatic Walking Tour,” the United States envoy is set to visit Gaza this week, hoping to survey the ongoing crisis while taking careful notes for her next tearful speech at the United Nations. The trip comes after reports from a local hospital stated that dozens were…

http://thejestpress.com/2025/07/31/us-envoy-visits-gaza-hospital-says-food-runs-deadly-this-season/?utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=jetpack_social

President’s Patience with Russia Runs Out, Still No Peace in Sight

#SatiricalNews #PutinOnTheRitz #DiplomacyDebacles #WarOfWills #PresidentialPatience By: TheJestPress.com **President Fresh Out of Patience Coupons for Putin, May Start Charging Late Fees** WASHINGTON D.C.—At a hastily convened press conference today, White House officials revealed that President Biden has “officially run out of patience” while negotiating with Russian President Vladimir Putin about the…

http://thejestpress.com/2025/07/27/presidents-patience-with-russia-runs-out-still-no-peace-in-sight/?utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=jetpack_social

Thai and Cambodia Play Tug-of-War with Border, Who Brings Snacks?

#SatiricalNews #BorderDrama #NotSoFriendlyFire #ThaiCambodiaClash #DiplomacyFail By: TheJestPress.com In a shocking turn of events sure to deepen the world’s confusion about Southeast Asian geography, the militaries of Thailand and Cambodia have clashed at a border so disputed that even Google Maps refuses to draw a line there. Tensions reportedly rose after an officer from each side simultaneously…

http://thejestpress.com/2025/07/23/thai-and-cambodia-play-tug-of-war-with-border-who-brings-snacks/?utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=jetpack_social

Florida Cat Mistaken for Virologist After Double Rodent Virus Takedown

#SatiricalNews #FloridaMania #KillerCats #ViralCat #ScienceGoneWild By: TheJestPress.com **Florida Cat Nabs Second World-First Virus, Questions Raised Over Conflict of Interest** Florida’s status as the nation's leading source of weird news was further reinforced this week after researchers—hoping merely to track local biodiversity—found themselves holding two once-in-a-lifetime viruses, courtesy of…

http://thejestpress.com/2025/07/14/florida-cat-mistaken-for-virologist-after-double-rodent-virus-takedown/?utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=jetpack_social