It's so fucking dumb that my back hurts so much I can't sit up or stand for very long and all I wanna do to cope is fantasize about getting beaten up lmao
My brain's like "Ooh ouch, too much Bad Fibro Pain, better escape by thinking about Good On-Purpose Pain"
#RxdRxt #RxdRxtRambles #RxdRxtRants #TxtPst #ShitPost #Masochist #ChronicPain #Fibromyalgia
The funny thing about my father's birthday and father's day both being in mid-June just after my late-May birthday is that my psyche never knows how to react...
It's Gemini Season (good), but it's also Gemini Season (bad).
The fibromyalgia is going nuts about it.
#RxdRxtRants #RxdRxtRambles #TxtPst #Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #Triggers
You ever having a perfectly fine day and then suddenly get hit with like 50kg of rage towards your father or are you normal
You ever feel like you're handling a tough month surprisingly well and then hear some bad news that's a little too relevant and realize that actually you've barely been able to shower and haven't properly cleaned your bedsheets, your clothes or yourself in weeks? 🙃 ...
Anyways, I guess feeling mostly numb and a little bit on-edge is much better than it could be going at its worst. I just wish I could skip the winter holidays, or at least not have to think at all during this time. It's good though that I'm realizing this, because I'm more rejection-sensitive when I'm in this state of mind, so at the very least I can catch myself more easily when I'm overthinking a social interaction or catastrophizing a situation.
It's whatever. I'm just pissed because I ate, had water, even masturbated and still today that annoying pit in my stomach remains. 🫤 Maybe I'm just feeling worse over time because I keep getting asked at work what I'm doing for the holidays this year and, much like every year, the real answer is "being sad" lol.
R3D R0T