Lilith, Mother of DarknessI may not approve of mass murder, but I understand why someone would do it.
-Sincerely, a former customer service employee
A retail story from an autistic person.
I still feel horrible about one particular time when I became sensory overloaded, at a retail job. 
It was december in a large department store, so you can imagine the scene: bright lights, constant christmas music on repeat, a never-ending sea of humans flowing everywhere, asking questions constantly.
I was stocking products and answering customer questions in the middle of it all, the whole day, and I could feel my sanity slipping away from me. Near the end of my shift, the dam broke. It was a little thing, an old lady came to me and asked where the soft drinks and juices are.
At that moment, I was just unpacking those exact products, and I just snapped. I don't remember well what I said to her, but I yelled something and ran outside. I felt like my mind had gone blank and I didn't know what I was doing. After standing in the dark for a while and regaining my senses, I realised that I had just yelled something rude at a customer and ran off. There would be hell to pay, I thought.
But surprisingly, there were no negative consequences. The manager came out looking for me, and seemed more worried about me instead of being angry. The old lady apparently seemed to be pretty forgiving, thinking that I didn't mean it, and was just overwhelmed. I was known as the friendliest worker there, helping people carry their groceries to the car and otherwise going out of my way to help them. That seemed to be the reason my manager wasn't angry.
Sadly, the lady had already bought her groceries and left, so I never did get the chance to apologise. This was many years ago, but I still feel so bad about it.
Silver ArrowsMy boss actually came with his girls to see me at work. I didn't even recognise him until my homie pointed to him and said, look who's here and it took me a minute hahaha! He seemed cheerful. I had a little whine about how darn disorganised everything is at my new place, because it really is. I can't take this level of chaos. How can I work on a bike when there aren't even the correct tools, you have to rummage through a basket to find the one 5mm Allen key. The stock rooms are a hot mess, the shop floor is a hot mess, it's like no one cares and I don't blame them, but it makes things harder for us.
Our bike mechanic is fed up of the chaos too. One of the teenagers working there keeps mixing up all the ferrule and cable ends in his drawers. After he sorted them all back out, the kid did it again. I would be fuming. Don't mess up other people's workspaces, what is wrong with this muppet?! 何アホなことしてん？！あかん！ 😡
It would be nice if we could get everything sorted out before I move to MAGA UK territory.
Edit: I also showed our mechanic my #CalvinJones photos and he was the first person IRL to be impressed by it! He said I'm very lucky to have met Calvin and he learned a lot from him too.
Joe B. WallDear helpful workers offering to help me scan at a self-checkout—I appreciate the offer, but you will never scan as fast as me, or pack my items as quickly and as well as me, because my efficiency is borne from long experience and a desperation to escape the horrors of a retail outlet as soon as is humanly possible.
#selfcheckout #selfcheckoutFTW #letrobotsdorobotjobs #retailsucks
Melancholic Mediocrity 
I don't suppose there are any freelance #DataAnalysts interested in mentoring an apprentice middle-aged queer guy with a spotty work record, #MentalIllness and an absolute loathing of and revulsion to traditional performative job interviews (blind dates on steroids), knowledge quizzes, and milquetoast linkedin-style "networking", are there? Yeah, didn't think so. But I've already written all of this so here you go.
I have a solid history working with spreadsheets, relational databases, rudimentary knowledge of PHP and Python. At a previous employer I designed and programmed custom scripting for multiple variable data printing projects.
Unfortunately my knowledge has been gleaned via experience and I have no formal certifications or evidence of talent. I was enrolled in Google's "Data Analyst" training on Coursera but unfortunately can't afford the monthly fees to continue.
The caveat is you would need to meet or exceed my current generous retail salary of $15/hr. Try me for a week. If you aren't satisfied, just assassinate me in lieu of payment. Please.
#FediHired #FediJobs #TechJobs #DataScience #DataAnalysis #DataJobs #RetailSucks