Amidst the unsettling far right conservative hegemony, my PhD project provides mental hygiene, a means of coping to me. If it weren't to an extent about corresponding cultural ramifications—cultural populism effacing queer culture thru cis-het heritagisation.
The more I learn and explore, the darker my tone towards my own field gets. Reflexivity is key but, then again, it affects my identity, body, and life. Between academic objectivity and activism, how could I not take personal what I unveils itself thru praxeologic analysis?
It's the mindfuck PhD folk and supervisors talk about, your very own psy-ops. Despair and rage, reflexion and contenance, pulling simultaneously in both directions. No one gets through this unchanged, they say.
Over an academic year in this, I am not the same anymore nor do I ever want to go back. The old identity does not exist anymore, its exosceleton discarded.
#PhDlife #QueerAcademia