All these thoughts…

I've shared this before.... And I'll share it again... As this is something that happens to me a lot. When I am doing well, when I get enough good sleep, when I have less pain/discomforts, when I am doing well weight wise, and when I can get through the days feeling good and well... Then, my mind, my brain, will be more at ease. Sure, I'll still get these rambling train if thoughts that pass by like Max Verstappen in a F16... 😉 But, I most likely will have more spoons, be more calm, to deal with these thoughts accordingly. But when I am struggling, on any or even all of the above, I am in constant battle with my thoughts. And, when you're low on spoons to begin with, it's even harder to manage these ramblings, as they're so messy and disruptive. 😔 […]

https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2026/03/14/all-these-thoughts/

Journal – Week 10, March 2026

The week started with my body and mind not feeling all too well. But, during a nice walk, we did spot a beautiful deer. And my friend helped me place an important call. Tuesday didn't start too well, with me feeling even more tired and bläh, with this dull feeling in my head, like it needed a good something to get it all OK again...Wednesday I had this crazy impromptu idea, and I went to the Zoo in the early morning! Thursday was business as usual, taking mum to Germany for groceries and such. Friday was a busier day, with me being painfully clumsy during the night, and then I had the GP in the morning, and physio near noon. The weekend, I tried to relax, but I also did several chores, and worked in the back garden for a while... Of course I enjoyed the daily pupdates, which I will share some bits of here in this blog. All pics can be found here, and all vids here. All current snaps and vids have been taken by Joke, © https://fromthepurityoflotus.nl. Well, it sure looks like we could slowly be heading towards the better weather, as spring is getting closer. Warmer, sunnier, days. Still some colder nights... But, it's looking promising for sure... 🌞 Quick links to the days of the week: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday. […]

https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2026/03/10/journal-week-10-march-2026/

oatis is gonna accompany me to my drawing blood appt. #drawingblood #physicalhealth #teddybear #steiff #plushies

Feeling bläh… 🫩

Earlier this week, I woke up and I felt tired. According to my watch, I had gotten some sleep. But somehow, I felt like I'd been hit by a truck or something, and/or of I had climbed the Mount 🗻 Everest in my dreams... I was exhausted and my head was a big lump filled with useless goo... 😔 But... I got up and started my "day". I had taken my meds, and shortly after that, I felt sick, and threw up a little. Sorry, TMI, but... I never realized that I had spit out my pain killers! I just got ready and headed to the gym, thinking things would be better with some time... […]

https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2026/03/07/feeling-blah-%f0%9f%ab%a9/

Journal – Week 9, February/March 2026 🐾

A rather mixed week... Several nights where I wasn't able to get some decent rest. Some days where I could take it easy, and a few busier ones as well. We had wetness fall from the sky, and also a few rather warm days, which were very nice indeed. On Thursday, there was some very sad news... After a few hours of sadness, there was a happening that took loads of the sadness away... Yes, it's about puppies... The weekend was rather relaxing, which was very nice. And, of course, there were the daily pupdates now, which brought so much love and joy... 🤎💜🐾💜🤎 Some really different weather is expected for this week... And, whut, 19 degrees??? It's not even March yet... Let's see what the weather will be... Quick links to the days of the week: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday. […]

https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2026/03/03/journal-week-9-february-march-2026-%f0%9f%90%be/

Thoughts here, there, everywhere…

A little while ago, I shared a post about my brain needing to make up it's mind... (Make up your mind…). And, things haven't improved that much since I wrote that. Unfortunately... Of course, it's not been that long since I wrote it. But a part of me just wants to have a calmer mind again.... 😔 I do my best to take my ADHD meds (Methylphenidate) in time. Some days, I feel it helps me, and I am able to get some things done. But on other days, it just feels like my mind doesn't even notice that I took my meds. I know I can get some Risperodon when I need some extra to get though the day. But, part of me doesn't want to use that too often, as I already have a dose that helps me to fall asleep a little better. And I don't want to be too depended on more meds. But... The brain going in all directions, it's exhausting me... 😔 […]

https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2026/02/27/thoughts-here-there-everywhere/

Journal – Week 8, February 2026

A mixed week, some appointments and chores to be done, some relaxing happened as well. The first week without Bas, after having him around for a month. I started visiting the gym again, slowly trying to build up on my exercises. There was some snow, some rain, some more rain with some added wind... Colder days, and warmer ones. It really was a mixed week for sure. But, I did my best to slowly pick up my exercises at the gym again. I tried to catch up with some chores in the house. And, I enjoyed some reading as well... All sorts of weather in the forecast... Colder days and nights, wet days, even some sun on some days. Next week, it says it may get warmer again. But, of course, that could change quite quickly and easily... We'll see what we're getting... Quick links to the days of the week: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday. […]

https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2026/02/24/journal-week-8-february-2026/

Ready to improve

Step by step, very little steps forward, and unfortunately, sometimes, a bigger step back (or even more 😔). I have known so many ups and downs. And, the dark side of me just feels like there have been more downs than ups. It's making it hard for me to keep going. I know there may be good times ahead. I know that I may be able to do better again, somehow, in some way... I have struggled before, and so far, I have always been able to improve things. Not always as much as I would have liked them to be. Not always for as long as I hoped things to last. But, I know that I can make changes. I know that I know how to deal with things. But... These changes, these little steps, they do need energy, and they do need the right mindset and motivation. And, when you're feeling like your low on energy all the time... […]

https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2026/02/23/ready-to-improve/

Make up your mind…

...silly overwhelmingly busy brain... I've been struggling. For several weeks now... Months even, if I take away the few good days that I had in between all the bad ones... And, I don't like complaining. I don't like giving up. I don't like feeling weak because I can't "easily" make it through. I know why I've been struggling. And I know that I've been trying to get help. But I also need to follow through now, and that takes more spoons. And, the way the last ±12 weeks or so have been going... It's been a lot. I lost the routine that I just got into after recovering mostly from my surgeries and traumatic loss. And while I was getting back to it... It slipped away again. 😔 […]

https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2026/02/21/make-up-your-mind/