Mastodawn

The dating app A4A Radar (Adam4Adam) IMO wrongfully suspends my account. Before that, they IMO wrongfully accused me of being spammer, censored all my messaging and then stopped censoring me again before IMO wrongfully suspending me altogether.

IMO The app is bullying me by groundlessly and abusively suspending my account, without me violating any conditions, which ruins my romantic and dating life and causes toxic loneliness which, according to research, has as bad health effect as smoking 18 cigarettes a day. I was communicating respectfully and didn’t send any sexual pictures. Before, the app IMO bullied and harrassed me by wrongful blocking and accusations: I don’t spam and just write introductory messages about my interests (nothing sexual, no sexual pictures) and suddenly a red banner appears at the top of the screen falsely accusing me “Error: you are marked a spammer” and messages stop working, I can’t even read incoming messages (censorship) or communicate with other people. The app is IMO hypocritical because it’s the app which is IMO spamming with adverts, not me.

Also:

"I’ve Been Banned From Almost Every Dating App" -- https://www.vice.com/en/article/banned-from-dating-apps/

"The hidden consequences of being banned from dating apps Thousands say they've been permanently banned from dating apps — and it's affecting their love lives." -- https://mashable.com/article/what-happens-when-youre-banned-from-dating-apps

I feel

e x t r e m e l y s t r o n g c o n t e m p t

towards the vendor of the A4A Adam (Adam4Adam) dating app which used to be one of the few usable ones.

#abuse #homophobia #homophobicabuse #authoritarianism #contempt #bigtech #censorship #ostracism #digitalostracism #wrongful #wrongfulaccusation #wrongfulban #unjustban #ban #banning #bullying #groundless #abusive #innocent #falseaccusation

I’ve Been Banned From Almost Every Dating App

It was probably “weaponized reporting” from a scorned date, and it's almost impossible to fix.

VICE

Psychotherapy Commission ACPE Mar 16

The article examines how everyday social exclusion can trigger passive-aggressive responses in individuals with high narcissistic traits, with grandiose narcissism showing a particular sensitivity to ostracism. It reports that feelings of being ignored amplify indirect acts like inducing criticism and sabotaging others, especially for those with grandiose narcissism. The piece also discusses methodological limitations and practical implications for workplace dynamics and therapy.

This topic is of interest to psychology readers because it links social processes like ostracism with covert aggression and highlights how personality traits shape everyday interpersonal dynamics. It also clarifies distinctions between narcissism subtypes and their behavioral consequences in real-world settings.

Article Title: Psychologists reveal a key trigger behind narcissists’ passive-aggressive behavior

Link to PsyPost Article: https://www.psypost dot org/psychologists-reveal-a-key-trigger-behind-narcissists-passive-aggressive-behavior/

Copy and paste broken link above into your browser and replace "dot" with "." for link to work. We have to do it this way to avoid displaying copyrighted images.

#Narcissism #PassiveAggression #Ostracism #GrandioseNarcissism #InterpersonalRelationships

65dBnoise Mar 8

Mocking the powerful is an ancient democratic custom; the #Athenians took it to extremes, judging by the way #Aristophanes mocked all known #political and cultural figures of his time.

The ancients weren't content with that though; there was #ostracism, the expelling of those thought to be influential enough to be considered a threat to democracy. No justification was required, just a set number of votes.

#NoDecorumForFascists is one of those "use it or lose it" things, like #democracy itself.

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Moritz Bartl Feb 27

"Fear is induced by coercion, the threat of negative consequences such as #ostracism and demotion. To be sure, blatant coercion facilitates the denial of responsibility and thereby compliance with corrupt directives. Such coercion, however, leaves less room for (perceived) volition, a key precondition for the dissonance reduction process discussed earlier. Newcomers subject to blatant coercion have a sufficient justification for their obedience – to avoid the threat – and thus do not need to realign their attitudes to accommodate the otherwise dissonant behavior. […] Coercion may affect behavior only as long as the pressure is applied. For these reasons, blatant coercion tends to be an ineffective means of sustaining corruption."

Karel 'Clock' K.Feb 15

"definitely ruins my chance of online dating" -- "akin to being cancelled from all dating" -- "being banned has had an impact on her dating life" -- "I’ve Been Banned From Almost Every Dating App" -- "locked out of dating apps can be far more significant for young people looking for a lifelong partner" -- "People unable to get onto those apps are potentially losing out on finding their life partner" -- "owns five of the top eight dating apps" -- "two-thirds of the online dating market" -- "bans, when they’re handed out, are pretty absolute. The companies overseeing dating apps can not just ban usernames and email addresses, but also IP addresses (from where you log onto the internet) and device identifiers, meaning that individual devices can be barred from rejoining apps"

https://www.vice.com/en/article/banned-from-dating-apps/

I feel

e x t r e m e l y s t r o n g c o n t e m p t

towards 2 or 3 major apps who groundlessly banned me despite me doing nothing impolite, nothing disrespectful, no violations of terms and conditions.

#ostracism #groundlessostracism #abuse #systemicabuse #discrimination #contempt #dating #datingapp #datingapps #ruins #onlinedating #cancelled #cancel #cancelculture #toxic #ban #banned #abuseofbans #losingout #loneliness #banishing #groundlessbanishing #shunning #relationship #relationships #romanticrelationship #romanticrelationships #romance

I’ve Been Banned From Almost Every Dating App

It was probably “weaponized reporting” from a scorned date, and it's almost impossible to fix.

VICE

Show thread

oldguycrusty Jan 12

@karlauerbach

I love this idea.

#Lysistrata
#Ostracism
#DenialOfService as a tool of #CivilSociety and #Decency

Moritz Bartl Dec 23

"We study formation of ostracism in a society from a game theoretical perspective. […] Alienating minority occurs even when there is a penalty for disliking and people are encouraged to favor others. Considering that the target is accidentally picked, we can understand ostracism as an inherent part of the group formation, rather than a result of specific discrepancy among people. Another finding is that a single individual who seeks for unconditional unification of the society (“philanthropist”) likely invites his/her own isolation from the society, while the existence of such person generally promotes coalition of others."

Kim P. (2014). A simple model of #ostracism formation. PloS one, 9(4), e94333. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0094333

A Simple Model of Ostracism Formation

We study formation of ostracism in a society from a game theoretical perspective. The dynamics of group formation is complicated in that the choices of the individuals and the form of the groups mutually affect each other in the process. A suggested simple model shows that individual efforts to increase his/her own sense of belonging is responsible for both growth of groups and creation of an outcast. Once a person happens to get behind in synchronizing with others, tendency to alienate him may grow among others, possibly making him left out in the end. Alienating minority occurs even when there is a penalty for disliking and people are encouraged to favor others. Considering that the target is accidentally picked, we can understand ostracism as an inherent part of the group formation, rather than a result of specific discrepancy among people. Another finding is that a single individual who seeks for unconditional unification of the society (“philanthropist”) likely invites his/her own isolation from the society, while the existence of such person generally promotes coalition of others.

earthling Nov 2

The Social Outcast by Kipling D. Williams, 2012

Ostracism, Social Exclusion, Rejection, and Bullying

This book focuses on the ubiquitous and powerful effects of ostracism, social exclusion, rejection, and bullying. Human beings are an intrinsically gregarious species. Most of our evolutionary success is no doubt due to our highly developed ability to cooperate and interact with each other.

#books
#nonfiction
#SocialPsychology
#ostracism
#exclusion
#rejection
#bullying