#OnThisDayInHistory, GI Joe, one of the most decorated homing pigeon heroes of WWII, is hatched in 1943. He is credited with saving some 1000 troops. He received multiple medals, and he's been stuffed.

#OnThisDayInHistory, Elisha Otis installs the first commercial elevator in a department store in New York City in 1857. It's steam powered and goes a whopping 40 feet a minute. So that jumping-to-be-weightless thing probably wouldn't work so well.

#OnThisDayInHistory, the first women's collegiate basketball game is played at Smith College in Northampton, MA, in 1893. The sophomores beat the freshmen, and the game lasts 30 minutes. #feminism #ItsAboutDamnTime

#OnThisDayInHistory, Alcatraz Federal Penitentiary closes, not because of escapes, or prison reform, but because it's too darn expensive, in 1963. We can't even blame this one on Sean Connery and Nic Cage.

#OnThisDayInHistory, scholars at the University of Paris declare that the Black Death was created from “a triple conjunction of Saturn, Jupiter and Mars in the 40th degree of Aquarius" on this day in 1345. This is how crystals get dark, man.

#OnThisDayInHistory, First Lady Nancy Reagan appears on the TV show "Diff'rent Strokes" to tell kids to say No to drugs in 1983. And America's drug problem is solved forever.

#OnThisDayInHistory, two thieves disguised as police make off with 13 works of art valued at more than $500 million from the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum in 1990. It's the largest art heist in history, and the art has never been returned. But that wall looks nice framed like that.

#OnThisDayInHistory, Vanguard 1, a cantaloupe-sized satellite, is launched into space in 1958. It is the oldest man-made satellite floating around up there.

#OnThisDayInHistory, the first black-owned and -run newspaper, "Freedom’s Journal," prints its first issue in New York in 1827. The circulation eventually reaches Canada, Haiti, and the UK. #ItsAboutDamnTime

#OnThisDayInHistory, the Cincinnati Red Stockings become the first professional baseball team in 1869. Wait, you guys get paid to do this?