#OnThisDayInHistory, Astrid Lindgren sprains her ankle, which leads to her being bedridden, which gives her time to write down the stories she'd told her daughter about Pippi Longstocking, in 1944. Um, yay, non-debilitating injuries?

#OnThisDayInHistory, Ricky Martin's "Livin' La Vida Loca" is released in 1999. It hits #1 in 17 countries and is inescapable. Crrrrazy!

#OnThisDayInHistory, the term "gerrymander" is introduced in a political cartoon in the Boston Gazette in 1812. Looks more like a Gerrygriffin to me. Maybe a Gerrywyvern.

#OnThisDayInHistory, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's, gets his GED, as he worries that his status as a high-school-dropout sends the wrong message to kids, in 1993. He's voted "Most likely to succeed."

#OnThisDayInHistory, GI Joe, one of the most decorated homing pigeon heroes of WWII, is hatched in 1943. He is credited with saving some 1000 troops. He received multiple medals, and he's been stuffed.

#OnThisDayInHistory, Elisha Otis installs the first commercial elevator in a department store in New York City in 1857. It's steam powered and goes a whopping 40 feet a minute. So that jumping-to-be-weightless thing probably wouldn't work so well.

#OnThisDayInHistory, the first women's collegiate basketball game is played at Smith College in Northampton, MA, in 1893. The sophomores beat the freshmen, and the game lasts 30 minutes. #feminism #ItsAboutDamnTime

#OnThisDayInHistory, Alcatraz Federal Penitentiary closes, not because of escapes, or prison reform, but because it's too darn expensive, in 1963. We can't even blame this one on Sean Connery and Nic Cage.

#OnThisDayInHistory, scholars at the University of Paris declare that the Black Death was created from “a triple conjunction of Saturn, Jupiter and Mars in the 40th degree of Aquarius" on this day in 1345. This is how crystals get dark, man.

#OnThisDayInHistory, First Lady Nancy Reagan appears on the TV show "Diff'rent Strokes" to tell kids to say No to drugs in 1983. And America's drug problem is solved forever.