Dear Person I've never seen before in the office, crop-dusting the office with a not-so-surreptitious can of Lysol and a self-satisfied smirk:

Your chemical attack on personnel in this wing of the building has been accepted for the Act of War that it clearly is. A counterattack may or may not occur when you least expect it. Comport yourself accordingly.

XOXO,
Me and all the other personnel in this area now gasping for breathable air.

#OfficeWarfare #MissingWFH

"Your mechanical keyboard is too noisy. Can you please use a normal keyboard?"

"Sure, but only if you agree to silence your mobile phone and laptop so I don't have to hear your instant message notifications for 8 straight hours."
#OfficeWarfare #CherryMXblue #MechanicalKeyboard #QuietPlease

If you give me the opportunity to "reply all" to a big thread, I will do so EVERY single time. I am that guy.

#OfficeWarfare