Mastodawn

I really envy people who have a comfort zone.

I just left, because group dynamics were too stressful, only to be more stressed by leaving, lonelyness, feeling of being excluded or rather excluding myself and ultimately self-hatred and doubting any progress that I ever made, because the biggest question still seems unsolvable.
The question of how to leave a comfort zone that doesn't exist looks easy in comparison to this: "If I have to love myself before anyone else can love me, and the reason I hate myself is because nobody ever loved me, does that mean I should just give up?"

#mh #GroupDynamics #FeelingLeftOut #SocialAnxiety #SocialPhobia #NotJustShy #NotJustLonely #SelfHatred

PaulaToThePeople 😷1d ago

When I was actively traumatized for over a decade and was constantly in fight-flight-freeze-mode, all my teachers called me lazy.

When I had a 4 year long depression with anhedonia, my mom called that tiredness.

When I had a PAIS two times for 3 months with fatique syndrome, my mom called that tiredness.

Now I have a burnout my mom tells me "just make sure you don't fall back into that tiredness".

All my life I am an extrovert with social phobia and people keep telling me to get out of my comfort zone.
How do I get out of something that doesn't exist?

#mh #ph #ToxicPositivity #NotJustSad #NotJustTired #NotJustShy