I really envy people who have a comfort zone.

I just left, because group dynamics were too stressful, only to be more stressed by leaving, lonelyness, feeling of being excluded or rather excluding myself and ultimately self-hatred and doubting any progress that I ever made, because the biggest question still seems unsolvable.
The question of how to leave a comfort zone that doesn't exist looks easy in comparison to this: "If I have to love myself before anyone else can love me, and the reason I hate myself is because nobody ever loved me, does that mean I should just give up?"

#mh #GroupDynamics #FeelingLeftOut #SocialAnxiety #SocialPhobia #NotJustShy #NotJustLonely #SelfHatred