Normal Island News
President Trump skips son's wedding to attend his latest staged assassination attempt
President Trump has explained that he was sadly unable to attend his son’s wedding in the Bahamas because the date clashed with his latest staged assassination attempt. Obviously, a big PR moment is more important to the president than the big day of a son that he is pretty sure he has met on several occasions.
Normal Island News
Cuba invades United States to “Liberate the American People” and “Restore Democracy”
The Republic of Cuba has launched a ground invasion of the United States in its mission to free Americans from decades of tyranny, economic neglect, and the horrors of unbridled capitalism.
President Miguel Díaz-Canel announced “Operation Epic Mongoose” from the steps of the Capitol Building in Havana.
#NormalIslandNews #satire #politics #Cuba #USPolitics #fascism
Proud day for Israel as the Epstein lobby defeats Thomas Massie in Kentucky primary
There were celebrations across Tel Aviv last night as AIPAC candidate Ed Gallrein defeated Thomas Massie in the Kentucky primary. As a result of his victory, we can rest assured that no Republican will dare question Israel again. On the contrary, they will send America’s sons and daughters to fight in the next dumb war that Netanyahu demands.
BREAKING: Man optimistic he can replace hated prime minister and win over the public by doing the exact same policies, but in a Mancunian accent.
Normal Island News
Andy Burnham promises "real change" by delivering Starmer's policies with a Mancunian accent
In a move described by ThinkLabour as “totally above board,” Josh Simons has graciously stepped aside to let Andy Burnham contest his Makerfield seat in a by-election.
Simons was one of the key architects of Keir Starmer’s rise to power, but now he is helping to install his successor.
#NormalIslandNews #satire #Labour #politics #Burnham #Starmer
Normal Island News
Muslim socialist destroys New York by taxing the rich, eliminating the deficit and improving public services
Newly elected Mayor Zohran Mamdani—better known as Muslim al-Socialist to everyone who remembers what America used to be—has single-handedly ruined the greatest hellhole on Earth in just 100 days, exactly as every hedge-fund manager warned he would.
#NormalIslandNews #satire #Mamdani #USPolitics #mayorOfNewYorkCity #socialism
Newly elected Mayor Zohran Mamdani—better known as Muslim al-Socialist to everyone who remembers what America used to be—has single-handedly ruined the greatest hellhole on Earth in just 100 days, exactly as every hedge-fund manager warned he would.
Normal Island News
Man in silly outfit cheerfully announces new age of authoritarianism on behalf of prime minister everyone hates
Yesterday, an unelected man sat in the unelected House of Lords, wearing a silly hat and the skin of several small, furry animals that made him look like he had just returned from a medieval stag do and was bravely fighting a hangover. We’ve all been there…
#NormalIslandNews #satire #uk_politics #Starmer #Labour #fascism
Yesterday, an unelected man sat in the unelected House of Lords, wearing a silly hat and the skin of several small, furry animals that made him look like he had just returned from a medieval stag do and was bravely fighting a hangover.
@ChrisMayLA6 #NormalIslandNews is good on #Rayner, at https://archive.is/BFxxJ:
Angela Rayner is offering “real change” — same policies, louder northern accent, constantly blaring “I’m from the working class, me”
Normal Island News
Conspiracy theorists insist aliens aren't real as President Trump releases UFO files
For months, I’ve been telling you lot that UFO disclosure is coming. Now that it has finally arrived, the people who wear tinfoil hats while eating their breakfast cereal are suddenly Dana Scully. Even manosphere thought leader Joe Rogan is sceptical of Trump’s declassification blitz
Normal Island News
Keir Starmer stunned to discover local elections were held yesterday
A furious Sir Keir Starmer has demanded answers after hearing the news that local elections were held yesterday, despite his personal decision to postpone them. A search party is now desperately trying to locate the Labour heartlands that he has so carelessly misplaced.
Bob Jamieson
Claire McNab
