Normal Island News

Police to resume Palestine Action arrests due to staggering rise in terrorism that has so far seen zero casualties

With all the terrible things going on in the world, you will be pleased to hear the Metropolitan Police has decided to once again focus its energy on the most important issue of all: people holding up signs the government doesn’t like.

https://open.substack.com/pub/normalislandnews/p/police-to-resume-palestine-action?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

#NormalIslandNews #satire #GazaGenocide #PalestineAction #fascismUK

Normal Island News

Possible leader of Harakat Ashab al-Yamin al-Islamia, Laura Loomer, warns of incoming terror attacks

The suspected leader of Harakat Ashab al-Yamin al-Islamia, Laura loomer, has warned the US of incoming terror attacks on ten times the scale of 9/11. Loomer’s operatives, I mean sources, are aware of planned multi-city attacks to stop President Trump getting cold feet about fighting Israel’s war.

https://open.substack.com/pub/normalislandnews/p/possible-leader-of-harakat-ashab?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

#NormalIslandNews #satire #Iran #US #Israel #UK

Normal Island News

Starmer sends Israel strongly worded apology after discovering missile attack on Diego Garcia came from an Israeli submarine

Foreign policy experts are carefully reviewing The Rules-Based International Order, following reports that Sir Keir Starmer has called Israeli officials to deliver “the most strongly-worded apology in modern diplomatic history.”

https://open.substack.com/pub/normalislandnews/p/starmer-sends-israel-strongly-worded?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

#NormalIslandNews #satire #Israel

Normal Island News

AI clone of Netanyahu vows to continue Iran war, despite death of his mortal body

An AI clone of Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu has vowed to lead US troops into war,despite his original human body being squished into tomato puree in an Iranian airstrike. Rest assured, the coming ground invasion will be paid for by Americans with no healthcare, or “goyim” to use the politically correct term.

https://open.substack.com/pub/normalislandnews/p/ai-clone-of-netanyahu-vows-to-continue?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

#NormalIslandNews #satire #IsraelTerroristState

Normal Island News

Israel confident its next AI video will prove Netanyahu is alive and doesn't have six fingers

Israel’s Ministry of Hasbara has apologised for disastrous “proof of life” videos featuring Israel’s late prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu. A spokesperson blamed the “pressures of war” for the failure to spot the errors in its recent slopaganda.

https://open.substack.com/pub/normalislandnews/p/israel-confident-its-next-ai-video?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

#NormalIslandNews #satire #IsraelTerroristState #Iran

#Trump is the best president EVAH!

#USA #Iran #NormalIslandNews #Satire

Normal Island News

IDF soldiers have officially been granted the right to r@pe Palestinian prisoners

For the past 18 months, a dark cloud has loomed over Israel, threatening to rain on the parade of its heroic defenders. Five IDF soldiers faced the horrifying prospect of prosecution for something that really shouldn’t be a crime in Zionism:the assault and sodomisation of a Palestinian prisoner with a knife

https://open.substack.com/pub/normalislandnews/p/idf-soldiers-have-officially-been?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

#NormalIslandNews #satire #GazaGenocide #Israel

Normal Island News

Party leaders bravely U-turn on support for Iran war after noticing it was costing them votes

Two of the UK’s most principled party leaders—Kemi Badenoch and Nigel Farage—have performed screeching U-turns on their support for the Iran war after noticing it was costing them votes.

https://open.substack.com/pub/normalislandnews/p/party-leaders-bravely-u-turn-on-support?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

#NormalIslandNews #satire #ReformUKFascists #ToryFascists #politics #PoliticsOfHatred

Normal Island News

Trump confesses he made up story about Iran obtaining Tomahawk missiles to bomb its own girls' school

In a stunning turn of events, the most honest US president since at least President Biden has admitted that he lied.

Just yesterday Donald Trump senile, I mean senior, gave us a story that every rational person should have blindly accepted—Iran had got its hands on Tomahawk missiles and bombed its own girls’ school.

https://open.substack.com/pub/normalislandnews/p/trump-confesses-he-made-up-story?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

#NormalIslandNews #satire #Iran

Normal Island News

Women of Tehran liberated by fiery oil rain and carcinogenic smoke as their city burns

In the greatest liberation since the US bombed a girls’ school, and bombed it again when rescuers arrived, the Epstein axis has bestowed the ultimate liberation on the women of Tehran.

https://open.substack.com/pub/normalislandnews/p/women-of-tehran-liberated-by-fiery?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

#NormalIslandNews #satire #Iran #IsraelTerroristState #US #war