In Malaysia, autism is recognised as a developmental disability, entitling individuals to protection and benefits. However, autism is best understood as neurodiversity—an alternative brain wiring, not a flaw. Viewing autism through an ego-centric lens—either as a burden or a superpower—centres on ourselves. With humility and honesty, we see autism as a different, valid way of being human, not broken.
#autism #neurodiversity #disability #mentalhealth #humanity #awareness #acceptance #humility
Maybe I wasn’t so good at masking my AuDHD after all…..
Increasingly the role of masking our differences as neurodivergent people has been coming to the forefront in conversations. Is something I’ve been speaking about for a while too, and masking makes sense of a lot of my experiences and why I don’t fit into some of the older school stereotypes out there around autism and ADHD.
I do believe it’s one reason why I didn’t receive a diagnosis until adulthood. From a very early age, I remember having to adjust how I presented myself to fit in with the other kids. For me, this went beyond peer pressure and felt more like an act of survival to avoid prejudice, harassment and what I now understand to be discrimination.
I compromised expressing my true self, thoughts, and feelings to the point where I had no idea who I was as a person by the time I reached adulthood, and I had no connection with the most authentic version of myself. The question I would ask myself is “who the fuck am I?“ with no idea where to even begin answering that question honestly.
So from the descriptions above, you may assume that I was incredibly successful at masking my neurodivergence, specifically my autism and ADHD. However, more recent reflections have made me question that. When I first learnt about how people mask their autism and ADHD, it certainly resonated strongly with me. And I assumed that the reason I went undiagnosed for so long was solely because of my perceived ability to mask my neurodivergence greatly.
When I look back at the times where I was masking at my peak, people were still picking up on my differences. Despite giving it my all to appear normal and blending in with everybody else, it still wasn’t enough to fully pass as ”normal”. Even though none of us had the language for autism, ADHD, or neurodivergence at the time.
Sure, there have been interactions where I masked more successfully than others. But I found they were only the briefest of moments where I probably passed off as more “normal“. If somebody was interacting with me for more than a few minutes, they probably picked up at least something was different. Anecdotes of other neurodivergent people’s experiences that I’ve come across online have only affirmed this view further for me.
One that keeps coming up on my social media algorithms is when more popular kids pretend to be friends with an autistic kid to bully and take advantage of them. Sadly, I’ve been there more than once, even though I was still masking during these interactions a lot. I could always sense something was off when people approached me in this way. But not in a concrete way that I couldn’t navigate at the time. It was always done in very subtle ways that others wouldn’t necessarily pick up on.
Yet, I was still masking what felt like a lot to me in those interactions. So I wasn’t exactly hiding my neurodivergence as much as I felt I was. People still picked up on it and still sought to exploit me for not being more “normal”. If anything, these experiences just reinforced the pressure I felt to mask my differences, which I can now attribute to autism and ADHD. And that’s just one example of what happened repeatedly across my childhood.
As I came into adolescence and then into my early adult years, I may have gotten better at masking, but I did have some awareness that I wasn’t able to fully maintain it. I’d say yes to all the social events to keep up the mask. However, I could never manage to stay at a social event for the duration and often found a way to dip out early and over time, people picked up on this, and I ended up gaining the nickname of ‘Where’s Wally’. As people wouldn’t realise I’d left until after I was gone. Now I can see this as me hitting my social limit and knowing I’d have to leave an event to avoid a meltdown or becoming completely burned out.
So although I put in so much effort into appearing normal, I didn’t exactly work as I intended. I think to some extent people can pick up on when you’re trying to hide something. Even if they can’t put their finger on exactly what it is. But during childhood and adolescence, I did pick up on that if I presented my full self to the world, the consequences would have been far more significant than hiding the real me.
So in reality I only had two fairly shitty options. Even though I chose masking, it was something I now accept I never fully mastered, despite being desperate as a young person not to stand out as different from what was perceived as “wrong” by others.
Part of me does grieve for younger Sarah who put so much effort into masking that it never fully paid off and caused a whole host of other issues. Which I’m still dealing with and processing to this day. And may do so for the rest of my life.
As time goes on, I’ve come to realise masking is so much more complex than I initially thought, and just because we are forced into doing it doesn’t mean that we will thrive because we mask our neurodivergence.
If you enjoyed this post and like to support my writing, I would be forever grateful if you could buy me a coffee (or tea in my case).
You can also support the blog by purchasing my book ‘Young Autistic and ADHD: Moving into adulthood when you’re multiply neurodivergent’.
#adhd #autism #mentalHealth #neurodivergent #neurodiversity
Deficit or difference?
There are a few things about autism that it takes quite a lot of ingenuity to consistently frame them as negative.
I've listed some of them here...
A thread 🧵
⬇️
#Autism #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #ActuallyAutistic
1/13
Trying to figure out what job/career that's autism-friendly for you?
What's something you'd be interested in working on that has enough depth to make your Autism happy? And enough facets to explore to keep your ADHD happy, so there's always something new, and your interest stays alive over time?
Via AB
At the end of my very fun gig last week, there was a lovely woman in the front row who seemed to have really enjoyed the show. So I had a quick chat with her at the end. Very glad I did. 😊 Big up for #neurodiversity! ✊ #autism #autismdad #audhd #funny #standupcomedyshow #funnyvideochallenge #adhd
Registration for the in-person #Autscape2026 event is now open! #Autscape is Europe's oldest #AutisticSpace event -- a #conference and retreat specifically by and for #ActuallyAutistic people. Non-autistic people are also welcome, but the environment and content of the event are centred around #autistic people’s needs, interests and sensitivities.
Dates: Monday 17 – Thursday 20 August 2026
Theme: #Autism and #neurodiversity in society
Venue: High Leigh conference centre, Hoddesdon, Hertfordshire, EN11 8SG, UK
To book, go to:
https://www.autscape.org/2026/registration/
Can't afford it? We have a limited amount of bursaries (financial help) available. Please apply by the 30th of June. Find out more via the link above.
To see the list of main programme presentations, go to:
https://www.autscape.org/2026/programme/presentations
We will be adding further information (such as the exact programme schedule) to the website over the next couple of weeks. Look for updates at:
https://www.autscape.org/
We hope to see you at Autscape!
(Background art by @lauratje86)
PatternChaser
Kalvin Carefour Johnny
Sarah Boon
K.J. Elphinstone
Heather Cook🖖Autistic Coach
Audubon Ballroon (he/him)
Youth Mental Health Canada
Matthew Kenslow
AUTSCAPE