Blue Whales

Question on a quiz show: The main food of Blue Whales is? Krill, Anchovies, Sardines? Obviously Krill, how's a whale going to open a can?

https://juliaclement.com/joke-a-day/blue-whales/

Too Close?

Time to get tough on people who stand too close to themselves.

https://juliaclement.com/joke-a-day/too-close/

Cats

Are my wife's pets my step cats or my cats-in-law?

https://juliaclement.com/joke-a-day/cats/

Epilator

The epilator took 15 years to develop. One to make it work & fourteen to make it hurt more.

https://juliaclement.com/joke-a-day/epilator-2/

Social Media

You can't call a person truly alone who has social media and 5G coverage.

https://juliaclement.com/joke-a-day/social-media/

Moon Landing

Cinematography in 1902 was nowhere near advanced enough to fake a moon landing so we have to accept Georges Méliès' <> as a record of the first successful French moon shot. It's a shame that they lost their moon base to the NAZIs in 1940 & never got it back.

https://juliaclement.com/joke-a-day/moon-landing-2/

Winston Peters

Winston's the laxative of NZ politics. If he's the answer, you really can't give a shit.

https://juliaclement.com/joke-a-day/winston-peters/

Sunglasses

You can always spot Aucklanders … Windscreen wipers on our sunglasses.

https://juliaclement.com/joke-a-day/sunglasses/

Not Mad!

Political correctness has not gone mad, it's just on antidepressants.

https://juliaclement.com/joke-a-day/not-mad/

Measles

English measles: "I have measles." German measles: ,,Ich habe Masern.''

https://juliaclement.com/joke-a-day/measles/