A Joke A DayMetric
The metric system seems natural to us as we have 5 digits on each hand, 10 in total.
A few countries like 12, for exactly the same reason.
#AucklandComedy #Comedy #Metric #NZComedy
Covert 19
Because of the bad publicity, Covid-19 has gone into hiding & is now named Covert-19.
#AucklandComedy #Comedy #Covid #NZComedy #Sick
Julia Clement’s Joke a Day
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#AucklandComedy #Comedy #NZComedySelective
On the stage everything I said was true, but not everything was said. Not that I was selective with the truth, I only had 20 minutes.
#AucklandComedy #Comedy #NZComedy #Selective #Truth
Inspire?
It’s better to inspire than to expire!
#AucklandComedy #Comedy #DEATH #Expire #Inspire #NZComedy
Knees
Safety Tip: Always bend your knees not your back when bashing your head against a brick wall.
#AucklandComedy #BrickWall #Comedy #Head #NZComedy #Safety #Wall
Job Search
I applied for a job as a comedian but the recruiter just laughed at me.
#AucklandComedy #Comedian #Comedy #JobApplication #NZComedy #Recruiter
Coding
Did my first serious bit of coding in 18 months yesterday & this morning this.
It’s an omen I tell you.
An omen!
#AucklandComedy #Coding #Comedy #NZComedy #Omens #Programmer #Programming
Computer Programmer
I’m a computer programmer so I deal in numbers.
Zero and one to be precise!
#AucklandComedy #Comedy #Mathematics #Maths #Numbers #NZComedy #Programmer #ZeroAndOne
Diarrhea
I have diarrhoea & feel wobbly. I told you my cooking at home wasn’t safe.
#AucklandComedy #Comedy #Cooking #Diarrhea #Diarrhoea #Food #FoodPoisoning #HomeCooking #NZComedy