I was scrolling through my photo album. When this selfie crossed my screen I thought "Oh, a photo of my daughter" - well, no, this is a selfie, not a photo of her.

But every time I see this photo on my screen, I first think it is #MyAdoredDaughter

We really do look like sisters, or even twins, now.

Wow...

Imdat: "How many times is it ok to be misgendered or have our identity disrespected? After all, they are really old people?"

Celeste: "I guess it depends on how much poison we can drink until we die, no?"

...

We (my wife and I) are invited to celebrate the birthday of an old friend of ours. It is his 80th birthday.

When I came out to him and his wife, who are both actually highly educated and quite smart people, it didn't go ... well? Without #MyAdoredDaughter and her husband at my side I am sure I would've completely crashed there and then.

No, they aren't some jerk-ass transphobes or such, but they behaved like some weird-ass liberals who started questioning ("Hormones? But they are so dangerous, are you really sure, have tou thought it through?") everything I said or did. At one point, my daughter couldn't hold back anymore and nearly screamed at them and tried "to hammer into their stupid heads what it means to have to live in a wrong body" (her words later on to me).

Since then they never made any effort to learn about me or trans people; the few times we exchanged messages they kept using the wrong pronouns and ... well, overall they never showed me that they tried to learn anything at all about me or us trans people.

My wife and my SIL kept insisting that they are old people and I should be lenient with them.

But that's the thing right? Lenient... you mean, keep drinking the poison until ... well, one day, when either I am resistant to it (but broken enough to build an apartment complex from the pieces) or until I just can't.

I know what I can expect at that party: misgenderings, questioning my identity, my decisions, my ... and then, I either walk out crying or desteoy the whole party (I know myself: if it gets too tough, I will literally destroy wverything around me).

I think it is best if I pass - whether this might be the last chance to see him or not - my MH (and everybody else's happiness at that party) is more important than keeping in touch with them.

Better for everybody this way - I know that!

I wish people wouldn't say it is privileged in and on itself being able to escape/leave the US.

If you have never given up everything, left all that is, behind you, to start a new life in a completely new country, then you can, by definition, not know how hard this is - how hard it is to leave loved ones behind, to leave your life behind you, all that you knew, that was familiar - sell your life in a garage sale where some stranger pays you pennies on part of your life -- don't assume this is easy!

And as #MyAdoredDaughter keeps saying: There is No Suffering Olympics; let's be glad that some could escape that fascist state, wish them all the best, and for those who can't, hope the best and try to help them.

Even meeting #MyAdoredDaughter and her equally adored partner didn't really help much to sustainably improve my mood to somewhere where I am not close to tears... 😑

I don't think it was a good idea to come to Hamburg - next time, I 'll travel straight to my daughter in Kiel...

Of all the people (friends, acquaintances, colleagues) there were only one couple who were weird and with whom I haven't talked since then.

It was already some time ago, I think around June/July 2023. I was visiting my SIL in Hamburg, my daughter and her fiancée came to visit me there as well. Then, towards the afternoon we decided to visit that couple, old friends of us.

So, #MyAdoredDaughter, her lovely fiancée and me, we went to that couple. They are an older than me, around 70ish. They are all liberal, highly educated, and well-read.

Anyway, we were sitting in their kitchen at a large table, chatting, when I finally (officially) came out to them and explained about being non-binary.

The setting was: me, my daughter and her fiancée on this side, the couple on the other side (they always sit on the other side of that table).

First, their reaction was ok. Then they started asking questions, and when it came to hormones and I confirmed that I started HRT, they both looked at me, shocked: "But those hormones have massive side-effects! They are dangerous! How can you ..."

I tried to explain to them that yes, I know the side-effects of HRT, and yes, I am being regularly checked. But then they kept going, at which point my daughter got really mad (and no, you don't want to see her mad) and her fiancée and she started telling them what it means for trans people to NOT have access to HRT and how horrible it can be and how much they suffer, that it is not their fault their body is producing the wrong hormones, and that ... OMFG, my daughter was on an argument-spree, strongly supported by her fiancée.

You see, my daughter in that moment saw me being attacked and felt someone had to defend me, someone had to put those two people in their places, because she saw I was feeling more and more defensive.

Anyhow, the couple apologized and agreed that (a) HRT is right for those trans people who feel they need it, and (b) that trans people on HRT know probably more about hormones than any cis person bar those who study it.

But still, even to this day they don't get non-binary, they still think in binaries. I'll see if they've change when we visit them again in December.

Edit: typo

Speaking of #MyAdoredDaughter this morning... I don't know if I ever posted this photo.

This is ... my daughter? This is how she looks like, exactly - a beautiful, young person with long legs, and wonderful hair. And she keeps telling me "OMG, we look so alike, we could be twins..."

#Trans #Enby #NonBinary #TransJoy #EnbyJoy #NonBinaryJoy #Selfie

...

... but no, this is not a photo of her, this is a selfie of me reflected in a window. When I saw myself reflected in that window, I had to take a selfie and send it to her and she was absolutely amazed at how similar we look now, really, like twins, everything, the form, hair, posture, arms, legs, ... only her face is slightly different (and way younger, obviously 🥰

Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo - ⌚️👀 - oooooooooooooooooooooooooood morning, my beautiful frieeeeeeeeeeeeeeends!

It is Saturday, 06:30, it is going to be a very hot day here in Burghausen, the toen with world's longest castle (at 1100 meters). We're gonna have a sightseeing tour of the castle, some light lunch and then off to Wöhrsee for swimming late in the afternoon. Dinner is at "Klostergasthof" in Raitenhaslach, about 5km from here.

We had an amazing day yesterday with #LoveOfMyLife joining me for the first time at my client's "Friday Lunch" (yesterday iy went from 12:30 - 21:30 it seems), where we left at 1600hrs to meet our friends in Mühldorf, and then came back to have a wonderful dinner at "MAXI". Maxi, the owner of "MAXI", managed to pour a bottle of cremont over one of the friends (by mistake) and a glass of grappa over me (by mistake), for which we got a great cremont as an apology (this time everyone took cover before she opened the bottle).

My wife was absolutely thrilled with the people at the Friday Lunch, the people there loved my wife (whou wouldn't?), and now we're still in bed in "Hotel Burgblick", on the other side of the river "Salzach" with a view to the castle - it is just gorgeous.

I personally am still amazed with the selfies I took yesterday (s. Post), especially yhe second one where you can't really make out whether it is me or #MyAdoredDaughter - we look so absolutely identical on yhat one.

Aaaaanyway, I wish you all an awesome weekend, joy, happiness and above all: a lot of love! Thank uou for being part of my life 😘😘😘🫶

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