SCENE: INTERIOR, HOLLYWOOD PRODUCTION OFFICE, RUN-DOWN. MONDAY MORNING.
Executive Assistant: Hey, Brett?
Director: Morning, Jennifer. What have you got for me?
EA: Well, we have the opening weekend numbers.
D: And?
EA: They're ... mixed. There's some bright spots overseas. Australia did fifty.
D: Fifty million?
EA: Uh, no. Fifty. Fifty tickets.
D: All weekend? The whole country?
EA: Ya. I know.
D: You said there were some bright spots, though?
EA: That was a bright spot. It was worse elsewhere.
D: How can it be worse than 50 tickets for a whole country?
EA: Well, some open-source intelligence type people on the 'net proved that almost every single ticket sold in the UK was to a movie reviewer, because we wouldn't give them advanced access to it.
D: "Almost"? So at least a few regular folks bought tickets?
EA: ... maybe. Those were tickets where no-one showed at the theatre, so they couldn't determine if it was film critics or not.
D: Damn. How were the reviews?
EA: Uh, let's just say "not good" and leave it at that for a bit.
D: ... Okay. Well, how about here at home? Surely we sold some tickets here, at least in MAGA states? What's the news here in the good ol' USA?
EA: The Director's Guild took out a hit on you.
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