2025 : "je viens de regarder une vidéo youtube le mec il a téléchargé un logiciel codé par un furry transgenre pour lire le disque dur de ben laden pour savoir c'est quoi son anime favori"
2026 : "non j'ai pas encore lancé le script je dois me connecter au vpn là ça fait 20 minutes qu'il me fait cliquer sur des vélos"
Blur - Miss America
My favourite Blur song.
To get to this point, I had to fill in a small form providing my full name and my e-mail address.
I eventually confused the virtual assistant enough that it offered to put me through to an 'agent' (is this actually the expert that they spoke of?) so I selected that option.
I asked to track my order, and mentioned that the tracking number they provided previously did not work... I was asked to provide my name and my e-mail address... when I pointed out that I've already done that, I was told that they cannot view those details.
SO WHY DO WE NEED TO PROVIDE THEM?
Using a different browser (which seems legit, after all nobody uses an iPhone to connect to the internet, right?) I get a 'virtual assistant' ... who has:
a) stated the obvious
b) told me it can't understand my query
c) asked me if any of these other options help
d) Ask me if I'm sure about that, when I replied 'no', and repeated the four unrelated options
This is not customer service.
Decided to query the delivery status with the vendor... their website directs you to a help page ... which features a floating button marked "chat with an Expert" ... pressing the button changes the text to "Loading..." ... then nothing happens except it goes back to saying "chat with an Expert"
Well done, really well done. #modernlifeisrubbish #oldmanshoutsatcloud
Why is it that customer satisafaction is no longer 'a thing'?
I ordered a product online, as the nearest store is about an hour away from me. (It was not from Amazon, I have have a whole separate rant about them).
They stated if I ordered in the next five hours, I could get next day delivery. Sweet.
Then, they tell me that next day delivery is an extra £5.95 ... and I'm ok with that, as it's saving me time. It was also the default selected option at checkout, which I'm fine with.
I then check out. I get my confirmation e-mail. It thanks me for my order, and tells me that I'll get my items in 1-2 days... and shows me that I've not paid for expedited shipping (despite it being the default option when checking out).
I then get a note telling me that they're preparing my order... where it is saying that my order contains multiple items, and I'll get them in 2-3 days.
Item 1 will arrive in 1-2 days, and item 2 will arrive in 1-2 days... so why is 2-3 days stated above?
I then go to the website and click the "check my order" link... it has a progress bar that shows me that my order is somewhere inbetween "On it's way" and "Been delivered" ... only the link for the courier website tells me "we cannot find a parcel with that reference" ... and clicking "more detail" on their website tells me "Our teams are preparing your item for delivery" ... WHICH IS IT?
As I think Rory Sutherland has suggested... why not just tell me that you deliver everything within 7 days... and then deliver it in 3... with which, I'd probably be fucking delighted. Instead of telling me that I can have it tomorrow, only it might actually be a few days and you really have no idea where my thing is.
Bah, wishing the bots/scrapers that were hitting quantixed on Christmas and New Year's the most unseasonal bad wishes.
How depressing. I'm currently receiving invitations for routine meetings that are scheduled to be held as far away as June 2026... 2026! What an appalling thought. Groan...
Randagodron
Ellie‽ (Radio Edit)
Fishd
Stephen Royle
Chris F
Tamsin
George Macgregor