Today is a bad day.

I went in to get med refills, but I couldn't afford them because the fucking free doctor prescribed them wrong. So I haven't had my meds for a week. Went to get the correct ones today, and they were $40.

Awesome. So I had to do a walk in I didn't mean to do. Got the meds prescribed for the third fucking time, and I was so stressed out I left without ever picking them up.

Went back to pick up my meds, was going to celebrate with a vape. Vape mod is missing. I look for it everywhere. It's gone. I lost it somewhere in all the stress of trying to save $40.

This is the poverty tax. To save $40, I lost $80. It is the snake that eats itself.

Also I have a second job interview next week. Unfortunately I also have agoraphobia, and my vape was my safety signal.

I'm freaking out and I need to replace it now. I will do anything to replace it. But to prevent myself from engaging in desperate, self-destructive acts, I'm going to have to require myself to do nothing.

I'm so fucked. I was getting $100 from a friend soon and none of it matters because I can never get ahead and begging for scraps kills my fucking soul.

So I'm begging. Because a soul can't live without a body, and I've been a body without a soul long enough.

No GFM. This is an emergency. If I have to wait, I might as well go inpatient and fuck both job interviews.

https://cash.app/$CeruleanArc
https://venmo.com/joanburgos

P.S. Oh and next week I'll need new Adderall. So this is all hell. I get $20, it's gone. Beg for more. If you have anything, please spare me more hell. I am so close, but I'm so tired too. I can't take much more of this. At this point I feel like I'd lose less self esteem finding people to fuck me for money on Craigslist.

#MutualAid #TransJoy #PovertyTax #Agoraphobia #MedicalAbuse #Disability #EmergencyAid #Venmo #CashApp #ButlerPA #Pittsburgh #LPC #SupportArtists #MutualAidRequest

🥀

https://open.substack.com/pub/thereforme/p/a-personal-history-of-me-by-jenny

"Food was denied if I didn’t walk to the dining room for a meal. This feat was often beyond me and I recall some of the nurses simply stepping over me after I fell to the floor." Thanks

@JennyWi04810918

for sharing your story. #ThereForME #MedicalAbuse

@KarenLHargrave
@GoreLloyd
@JulesAHouston

It pretty sucks getting bad treatments from medical providers . Even after I found better doctors, reading “cell at work “ causes flashbacks.

#MedicalAbuse

Israeli whistleblowers detail horror of shadowy detention facility for Palestinians | CNN

At a military base that now doubles as a detention center in Israel’s Negev desert, an Israeli working at the facility snapped two photographs of a scene that he says continues to haunt him. #israel #palestine #gazagenocide #humanrights #medicalabuse #unlawfulcombattants #sdeteiman #warcrimes

https://edition.cnn.com/2024/05/10/middleeast/israel-sde-teiman-detention-whistleblowers-intl-cmd

From an old 2020 Facebook post:

I can open up a bit about my mental health care themed post from Friday:
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On Friday, the therapist I have virtual counseling with through Brave Space LLC, listened to me telling them about what happened to me at the Urologist office two weeks ago. After hearing months of my accounts of medical abuse, gaslighting, and negligence, she voiced an opinion (with a tone of authority) that doctors are not prejudice against, or trying to harm Disabled people. She said to me, "that is not your story". When I broke down into tears, she couldn't connect the dots, so I told her about my 2 friends in nursing care who were literally begging for help on social media before they died. My therapist still did not think that the medical establishment is eugenicist and actively tries to kill disabled people. Again she told me " that's not your story".
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This is strike 3 from Brave Space.
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They may be great for non-disabled queer and trans people. But for disabled, Chronically-ill queer and trans people they miss the mark. I donno maybe that is just *my* story, and I should stop blaming others for my problems.
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As I wrote before, I give up on mental health care.

#MentalHealth #MentalHeathCare #MedicalAbuse #Disabled #Disability