Putin Bans Everybody Who Ever Hurted Donald Trump's Feelings From Glorious Russia

Take that, Jimmy Kimmel.

Wonkette
Trump Official Lands Sweet Gig Planning To Destroy Government Five Seconds After Jan 6 Grand Jury Testimony

Loyalty has its perks.

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Three Stories About GOP Oversight Chair James Comer That Aren't Even About Hunter Biden's Penis

If we could get back to Hunter Biden's penis ASAP, James, that'd be great.

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Trump Sec Def Recasts Jan 6 As War Of Congressional Aggression

In fairness, he does have a book to sell.

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Fox News Hosts Have Kink, It Is Secretary Mayor Pete Kicking Them In Dick

Goddamn y'all, goddamn.

Wonkette