👋 hello~ time for an #introduction!

this is my chill-space (aka, a personal side account)

📝 basics:
- hi hi i'm beso! ("kiss" in spanish)
- xe/he pronouns (more info on https://en.pronouns.page/viralvulpes)
- late 20s
- i'm a #singer and #artist, though i can't take art commissions often due to my health. (i post my creations in the tag #BesoMakesThings)

👤​ identity:
- soy xicano! i live in the usa
#xicano #chicano #latino
- i'm bi and polyam, in a throuple relationship
#bisexual #polyamory
- i'm a nonbinary just-some-guy (tme)
#trans #bigender #nonbinary
- mentally ill and neurodivergent
#depression #adhd #autistic #AuDHD #kinetic #KineticAutistic
- proudly (and exhaustedly) disabled
#disabled #fibro #mecfs #cfs #arthritis

💖 likes:
- #tech #FOSS #libre
- #VideoGames #IndieGames #TTRPGs
- #manga #manhwa #manhua #webtoon #anime #WebNovel

🔗 links:
- main: @viralvulpes
- fandom: @viralvulpes
- tumblr: https://foxpunk.tumblr.com
- discord: dm me to ask!

How are autistic, kinect (adhd) folks experience with driving?

I dislike driving, but I do it. I live in a rural area and having a car and being able to drive makes life much easier.

My tendency is to be a careful driver. To go within speed limits, to be very careful when overtaking other vehicles, asking for help when manouvering in tight spaces. These mean, being the slow car on the road (even if Im going at the max speed limit) with a big line of cars behind me. It means being behind a slow truck for long distances while on a road trip, because I dont feel its safe to overtake them. It means feeling like Im the stupid female (Im not a woman, but people read me that way) that confirms the stereotype that women don't know how to drive.

All those are characteristics Ive learned are associated with bad drivers. While driving I feel this pressure of behaving like "good drivers" do. Like going faster, overtaking other vehicles promptly, being able to maneuver the car without help.

I know this pressure is stupid. I fight it in my head. I know behaving like a good driver is not a good reason to do things I feel are unsafe for me and others on the road. But its hard. Sometimes, I cave in. I wonder am I such a careful driver because Im not confident in my abilities? Maybe I should be more confident. Maybe I should act like other drivers.

All the times I made mistakes while driving and caused accidents (never anything serious, usually accidents while manouvering the car slowly), were because I caved in to this pressure. I decided not ask for help when I felt I needed, or I did some manouver I was unsure about but insisted on it anyway. I was tired of fighting this pressure of behaving like a "good driver" I was tired of being careful, of being anxious and just wanted to get it done.

Im really afraid of the time I make a mistake like this and it leads to a serious accident.

@actuallyautistic @adhd #actuallyautistic #kineticautistic #adhd