Five-year-old (delightedly): The president is going to meet with poo!
Me: That's Putin, honey.
Me: Today has been the birthday of the World Wide Web. 34 years old today!
Kid: The world is 34 years old?!
My kid expressed that she wants to see the northern lights and I said "that's cool, it's cold where they are though". She asked why and I explained it's cuz they're in places like Canada, Alaska, Iceland and Greenland, which are all cold places. "But why are they cold?" Because they're far north baby, the further north you go, the colder it gets. She asked me which way is North so I pull up my compass app and tell her the direction 1/2
Me: Why are there bags of water taped to your wall?
Seven-year-old: I'm conducting a scientific experiment. I'm going to leave them there for three years and see if the water rots.
Absolutely lost it in a restaurant today, because they were playing C&C Music Factory and my four-year-old thought the song was "Everybody's pants down!"
Me: Good morning! Did you have a good sleep?
Four-year-old boy: No. I got pregnant.
Me: How did that happen?
Four-year-old boy: I don't know. It was just a special day.
My four-year-old's main criterion for whether he will have fun at someone's house is "Will they have pie?" and he's not wrong.
Feeling a little crummy now (and isolating at home), but I think worth it for the interview with a 5 1/2 year old I did last weekend to get their reaction to "The Red Balloon" for my Criterion Collection podcast The 305. Glad I have a few days off to recuperate!
A highlight:
Q: This movie was made in 1952, so that was 71 years ago! Do you know anybody that old?
A: Uhh... Wait I think Jesus maybe was that old! He's like 100, right?
Q: Gosh, I think he must be pushing two-thousand twenty-three or so by now!
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Shannon Kay
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