NicSome women are pear shaped. Some women are apple shaped. Doctors are looking for the cores.
Notice at the Zoo
“Please don’t scare the ostriches! The floors are concrete!”
Q Why do anarchists always use tea bags?
A Because proper tea is theft.
My imaginary friend is staying for a few days.
So I've made up a bed for him.
My wife says I'm tight, so to prove her wrong we went out for some tea and biscuits. It was quite exciting as she's never given blood before.
My son just accused me of lying.
I wouldn’t mind, but I don’t even have any children!
My brother used to race horses, but he didn’t do well at it. They were always so much faster than he was.
Why did the non-binary prospector head out west?
Because there was gold in them/their hills!
#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #nonbinaryhumour #riskofcancellation
Q What do a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
A They’re both perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them.
I couldn't pay my water bill. My friend sent me some flowers with a note saying “get well soon”!