An Emergency Call Centre worker in London has recently been dismissed from her job.
It seems that a male caller 'phoned in from a mobile phone stating, "I am depressed and lying here on a railway track. I am waiting for the train to come so I can finally meet my maker."
Apparently, "Remain calm and stay on the line" was not considered to be an appropriate or correct response.

#jokeoftheday #darkhumour

What do you call spiders when they get married?

Newleywebs!
#jokeoftheday #boost #3dcandy #joke

My wife said “Have you seen the dog bowl?”
I said “I didn’t even know he could play cricket?”

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #marriedlife

If 2x2 makes 4
and 3x3 makes 9
how come 0x0 makes gravy?

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #mathsjokes #ukspecific

My mate's stutter is so bad, by the time he told us his nanna had died, we were all singing Hey Jude.

#jokeoftheday #beatles #poortaste

Q What do you call birds that stick together?
A Vel-crows

#jokeoftheday #crackerjokes

It's my Constipation Recovery group tonight.
Sadly I can't go.

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #scatologicalhumour