My son is taking part in a social experiment.
He has to wear a Man Utd top for two weeks to see how people react.
So far he has been verbally abused, punched and spat at.
It’ll be interesting to see what happens when he leaves the house

#jokeoftheday #soccer

There was a young man
from Cork, who got limericks
and haiku confused

#jokeoftheday #poetryforms

I was watching an Australian cookery show and the audience applauded when the chef made meringue.
This surprised me as Australians normally boo meringue.

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #aussiecuisine

A bloke said to me today 'Are those thick lens glasses you're wearing?'
I said 'No, they're mine'

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #shaminghumour

I hate Russian nesting dolls. They are so full of themselves.

#jokeoftheday #dadjoke #oligarchs

I saw a one-legged man at the ATM. He was checking his balance.

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #bankinghumour

Apparently, Aldi has a special Humpty Dumpty toy for sale. It comes with Aldi King’s horses and Aldi King’s men.

#jokeoftheday #dadjoke #nurseryrhyme

I’ve just swallowed a book of synonyms and it’s given me thesaurus throat I’ve ever had

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #vocabulary

The Indian Restaurant is so secretive that I had to sign a legal agreement that I wouldn’t tell anyone their flatbread recipe.
It’s just a standard naan disclosure agreement.

#jokeoftheday #dadjoke #lawyerhumour

When I was young I wasn't very good at playing the guitar. But now after years of dedication, practice and lessons, I'm no longer young.

#jokeoftheday #dadjoke #granddadjoke