Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself when you talk to me. By @MsAriesMoon

#kindness #compassion #empathy #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #ymhc #communitycare #bekind #healthyboundaries

Gentle reminders: for when the world feels frightening.

#healthyhabits #boundaries #healthyboundaries #emotions #feelings #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalwellness #mentalwellbeing #ymhc

Having compassion and empathy for why someone behaves the way they do based on their experiences, never means you have to tolerate the behavior or hold space for it. By @maryamhasnaa

#selfcare #selflove #boundaries #healthyboundaries #selfcompassion #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #compassion #ymhc

 The “Reformed” Chaos 

Hey everyone, it’s Tina.

I saw a meme the other day that personally attacked me in the best way possible. It said: “Not being crazy anymore is funny asf cause I still get all the same thoughts I just have self control now.”

I have never felt more seen, more heard, and more slightly judged by an internet graphic in my entire life.

If you’ve known me for a while, you know “Old Tina.” Old Tina didn’t have a “filter.” She had a megaphone and a complete lack of impulse control. If I felt a feeling, the whole world felt it with me. If I thought for a split second that someone was giving me side-eye, I wasn’t just going to wonder why—I was going to build a full forensic case, present it at 2:00 AM, and probably send a 7-paragraph text that started with “It’s just funny how…” (Narrator: It was, in fact, not funny.)

Choosing Peace: The Reality of Personal Growth

But lately? I’ve been “chill.” I’ve been “level-headed.” I’ve been the person who breathes deeply and “chooses peace.”

But here is the secret that nobody tells you about personal growth: The “crazy” doesn’t actually leave your brain. It just gets a better security system.

People look at me now and think I’ve reached some sort of Zen-like enlightenment. They see me at brunch when someone makes a backhanded comment, and they see me just sip my mimosa and smile.

What People See vs. What’s Happening Inside

• What they see: A mature, evolved woman who is above petty drama.
• What’s actually happening: Inside my head, I am currently flipping a table, hiring a private investigator, and composing a poetic insult that would make a Victorian ghost weep.

The difference is that now, there’s a tiny, responsible version of me standing at a control panel in my brain. She’s exhausted, she’s holding a cup of coffee, and she’s screaming, “DO NOT PRESS THE SEND BUTTON, TINA. WE ARE NOT DOING THIS TODAY.”

The Power of the Deep Breath Strategy

It is honestly hilarious to sit there in total silence while your brain is doing backflips and screaming like a tea kettle. It’s like being the undercover agent of your own life. We’ve all been told to “just take a breath” when we’re frustrated.

When I was younger, if you told me to breathe, I’d probably stop breathing out of spite. Now? I take that breath. But let’s be real—that breath isn’t just for oxygen. It’s a containment strategy. It’s the five seconds I need to talk myself out of saying the thing that will require a three-day apology tour later.

I’ll be in a meeting, or talking to an ex, or dealing with a customer service rep who clearly woke up and chose violence, and I’ll just… breathe. Everyone thinks I’m being “thoughtful.” I’m actually just waiting for the “Old Tina” urge to throw a stapler to pass.

Finding Power in “I Could, But I Won’t”

There is a weird kind of power in having “The Thoughts” but not acting on them. It’s like having a secret identity.

I’ll walk through the grocery store, and someone will cut me in line with fifteen items in the “10 or Less” lane. The old me would have started a town hall meeting right there in Aisle 4. The new me? I just look at them, feel the familiar fire of a thousand suns rise up in my chest, and then… I just let it sit there.

I’ll think, “Wow, I could really ruin this person’s afternoon. I have the vocabulary for it. I have the spirit for it. But… I think I’ll just go home and eat my pasta instead.” It’s the ultimate “I could, but I won’t.” It makes me feel like a superhero whose only power is not being a public nuisance.

To the Silent Warriors

If you’re reading this and you’re in the same boat—congratulations. We are the silent warriors.

Don’t feel bad that you still have the “crazy” thoughts. Having the thought doesn’t make you a mess; it just makes you human. It’s the self-control that makes you a legend.

The thoughts are always going to be there. They’re like that one eccentric aunt who shows up to every family reunion uninvited. You can’t stop her from coming, but you can stop her from grabbing the microphone during the toasts.

So, here’s to us. To the girls who still want to key the car, send the text, and start the fire—but choose to buy a candle and go to bed early instead. We’re doing great, sweetie.

Stay “sane” (mostly),

Tina

Holiday Boundaries.

#healthyhabits #boundaries #healthyboundaries #emotions #feelings #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalwellness #mentalwellbeing #ymhc #selfcare

If you are struggling and your people are watching you struggle, they are NOT your people.

#MentalHealth #Support #CommunityCare #Peersupport #MentalWellness #MentalHealthAwareness #HealthyBoundaries #YMHC

自從用 #DigitalGarden 的概念記錄自己每天的感受，原本強烈的感受突然變得不再混沌不明，可以停下來感覺自己的身體反應，有脈絡地思考自己會有這樣感受的原因並紀錄下來。看著筆記從混亂慢慢沉澱，自己的行為模式開始清晰浮現，真的很像在花園親手種下種子細心呵護看它們日益茁壯。

這剛好呼應到最近在聽的 #TherapistUncensoredPodcast 第81集講到 #HealthyBoundaries 在心裡立起一牆 jello wall，當其它人或自己 make a comment 觸發到自己的心理防禦, 問自己兩個問題：Is it about me? Is it true?

我的 jello wall 是一座每天益發鬱鬱蔥蔥的花園🙂

Steps to set boundaries with yourself: Allow yourself time to rest. Stop comparing yourself to others. Be kind to yourself.

#healthyhabits #boundaries #healthyboundaries #selfcare #selflove #mentalwellness #mentalwellbeing #ymhc